我这篇文章写得怎样?懂英语和足球的同志请过来看看Maldini,a legend of a hero Paolo Maldini,a resounding name of the football circle standing for loyalty.Everybody knowns that Maldini is a legend of Milan,of Italy,even of the world

我这篇文章写得怎样?懂英语和足球的同志请过来看看Maldini,a legend of a hero Paolo Maldini,a resounding name of the football circle standing for loyalty.Everybody knowns that Maldini is a legend of Milan,of Italy,even of the world
我这篇文章写得怎样?懂英语和足球的同志请过来看看
Maldini,a legend of a hero Paolo Maldini,a resounding name of the football circle standing for loyalty.Everybody knowns that Maldini is a legend of Milan,of Italy,even of the world,because his loyalty for Milan have never been changed in 25 years.So in my heart,he is a hero for Milan which is my favourite club.25 years,is a long time and really a long time for a ordinary and great man.There is so much wind and rain in this 25 years that Maldini hardly but grandly have spent it.In Milan,even in Italy,you can do not respect others except for Paolo Maldini.Tree will become old and the man will be old too.There is no feast which can not be over.Today,you fanally retire for Milan,Paolo.But I want to tell you that you are my hero forever.Good-by,my hero!Good-by,my eternal hero!Maldini,you are the capital of Milan forever!You are the legend forever!有什么语法错误和写得不好的地方请指出!

我这篇文章写得怎样?懂英语和足球的同志请过来看看Maldini,a legend of a hero Paolo Maldini,a resounding name of the football circle standing for loyalty.Everybody knowns that Maldini is a legend of Milan,of Italy,even of the world
马尔蒂尼啊.我也喜欢~你的语法错误很多...我来给你改一下..."Paolo Maldini" is a resounding name in the football circle standing for loyalty.Everybody knows that Maldini is a legend of Milan,of Italy,even of the world.His loyalty for AC Milan,which is my favorite football club,has never changed in the last 25 years.In my heart,he is a hero for Milan.25 years is a really long period of time for a ordinary and great man to stay in one club.So many things happened during these 25 years for Maldini.In Milan,even in the whole Italy,one has to pay respect to what Maldini has contributed to AC Milan.Trees will become old and men will become aged too.Every meeting has an ending.Today,Maldini fanally retired from Milan.But I want to tell him that he is forever my hero.Goodbye,my eternal hero!Maldini,you are the capital of Milan forever!You are the legend forever!问题主要如下:1.Chinligh很多.什么天下没有不散的宴席...你可以直接翻译,可是在英语中并不精准.2.语法错误很多.事态的问题等等,你可以对比我的修改版和你原来的版本.3.倒数第二段你突然采用对马尔蒂尼说话的方式.中文写作中也许是为了一种效果,在英语中这就属于语病.我一直到最后一句话,才让你直接对马尔蒂尼表白...不过有些地方还是要表扬的,我不知道你是几年级,可是总体来说,逻辑很好,文章条例很清楚,类似resounding之类的词用的很精彩.加油加油!有什么不懂得可以QQ我或者email我.我给你改后的文章,应该98%可以拿高分了.(因为这在北美属于很简单的作文了)