With the development of society and the improvement of people′s living standard,education is of great significance to one′life.Due to their strong appetite for knowledge,a vast number of teenagers prefer to go abroad for further study.As far as I

With the development of society and the improvement of people′s living standard,education is of great significance to one′life.Due to their strong appetite for knowledge,a vast number of teenagers prefer to go abroad for further study.As far as I
With the development of society and the improvement of people′s living standard,education is of great significance to one′life.Due to their strong appetite for knowledge,a vast number of teenagers prefer to go abroad for further study.As far as I am concerned,overseas study is a desirable choice .The reasons are prevented below.
On the one hand,studying abroad is beneficial to improving all sorts of skills.
In such a foreign country,which could provide a wonderful language atmosphere,international students can attain a good command of the second language.
It′s also a effective way for one to cultivate independence,which is the fundamental capacity of one′s life.One has to learn how to take care of and protect oneself and how to get on well with people who have different cultural backgrounds.
On the other hand,students can learn advanced science and technology.They receive a different education .What′s more they have easy access to the first rate facilities and the latest development in science and technology.
Moreover ,by looking at their country from the outside ,one can best see the strengths and weakness of one′s motherland.Many people who have lived in other countries feel that the experience enables them to understand their own country better.
Some people,however,believe that studying abroad lays such a huge economic burden on families.The tuition fee is costly and living expenses are much higher,which is impossible for ordinary people to afford.
What′s worse ,living far away from home ,adolescents often suffer from psychological problems such as loneliness and homesickness .
At the end I must say both options can be good or bad,depending on the personal considerations.From my point of view ,I must say that studying abroad is conducive to one′s future and life.

With the development of society and the improvement of people′s living standard,education is of great significance to one′life.Due to their strong appetite for knowledge,a vast number of teenagers prefer to go abroad for further study.As far as I
I have gone through your writing,which is fairly good,and made some changes and comments right after the problematic parts.Some minor mistakes are already corrected so you may have to compare with your original work carefully.Rather than changing the whole writing into what i think is right,I raised questions in brackets so that you can work them out yourself.I am sure you will benefit more from that than getting a final answer.At the end I have given my comments and recommendations for further study.Hope this will help.I suggest you use MSWord 2007 to edit your writing in the future.
With the development of society and the improvement of people′s living standard,education is of great significance to one’s life.Due to their (whose?Ambiguous pron.Spell it out) strong appetite (I know what you mean but it does not sound right in this context.Maybe ‘desire’ or ‘high demand’) for knowledge,a vast number of teenagers prefer to go abroad for further study.As far as I am concerned,overseas study is a desirable choice.The reasons are prevented(?) below.
On the one hand,studying abroad is beneficial to improving all sorts of skills (a bit exaggerated).
In a foreign country,which can provide a wonderful language atmosphere (you want to say ‘a good language learning environment’),international students can attain (obtain) a good command of the second language.(It is beneficial to the language study but does it really mean that all the Inte students can ‘obtain a good command’?)
It′s (It is) also an effective way for one to cultivate independence (learn to be independent),a fundamental capacity of one′s life.One has to learn how to take care of and protect oneself and how to get on well with people who have different cultural backgrounds.
On the other hand,students can learn advanced science and technology.They will receive different education .What′s more (Moreover,) they will have easy access to the first rate facilities (I see what you mean but it could be written better) and the latest development in science and technology (you are repeating your first sentence here).
Moreover,by looking at their (whose?) country from the outside,one can best see the strengths and weakness of one′s motherland.Many people who have lived in other countries feel that the experience enables them to understand their own country better.
Some people,however,believe that studying abroad lays a huge economic burden on their families.The tuition fees are high and so are the living expenses,which is impossible for ordinary people to afford.(I don’t know what this para is for.)
What′s worse ,living far away from home ,adolescents often suffer from psychological problems such as loneliness and homesickness .
At the end I must say both options can be good or bad (rephrase the sentence),depending on the personal considerations.From my point of view ,I must say that studying abroad is conducive to one′s future and life.(don’t know what you mean)
(In general this is a good writing.The student has a sound knowledge of grammar and has a good range of vocabulary.However,some words are not used appropriately,which indicates that the student still has problems with the meanings as well as the register of English words.The use of pronouns can be confusing from time to time.The content of the writing is not well balanced and structured coherently.That is where the student has to work on more.）