The computer is widely used in education and some people think teacher do not play important role in the classroom.To what extent do you agree.Technology is advancing at a staggering rate especially in terms of computers.It is not uncommon that most

The computer is widely used in education and some people think teacher do not play important role in the classroom.To what extent do you agree.Technology is advancing at a staggering rate especially in terms of computers.It is not uncommon that most
The computer is widely used in education and some people think teacher do not play important role in the classroom.To what extent do you agree.
Technology is advancing at a staggering rate especially in terms of computers.It is not uncommon that most people in urban areas have their own computers,which is uesd to e-mail,surf the internet,study,etc.some people stick to thinking that computers is paly an dominat role in our life even can replace teachers in the class.I totally disagree this view.
Students are taught by teachers is a basic form in school.Even though our life is full of the proliferation of computers,they cannot be the replacement of teachers.Moreover ,computers are machines witch do not have any emotion.However,teachers can teach students with vivid knowledge like talk shows that interst students.Under no circumstasnce that students have ethusiasm when faced with cold machines.More specifically,if every student in class is allocated a computer,he / she may play computer games or chat on the internet and do not listening to class any more.My own experience was that the majority of my classmates was playing PC games in computer colass when I was in primary school and high school,which every was allocated a computer and teachers did not know any more.That is to say students can abide by discipline as long as teachers play more imperative role than computers.
Admittedly ,computers are good assistant to teachers in class.Resonable using computers such as make power point or word in advance and show them in class will be a good choice to promote the proccess of teaching.
No one can doubt that the computer plays a role in education to some extent but it does not surpass the role of teachers.School should treasure relative importance between computers and teachers harmoniously.It could creat a win-win situation to both school and students.
分不多,

The computer is widely used in education and some people think teacher do not play important role in the classroom.To what extent do you agree.Technology is advancing at a staggering rate especially in terms of computers.It is not uncommon that most
you make many mistakes in the use of vocabulary and punctuation.The grammar and structure have a little problem,more or less.I suggest that you could take participation into a course,such as the intensive class for ielts(NOS) ,if the left time for you to prepare for this examination is not much limited .BTW ,what score is enough for you?the framework used in a article is very wkward.Don`t choose it,my advice.

我不会英语呀，我的家人（我的家庭）
我爱我的家庭，因为我有一个幸福的家庭。
我的父亲是一名英语教师。他的名字是张学友。他是38 。他喜欢打篮球。我的母亲的工作吗？她是一名教师？是的，你说得对！我的母亲是非常客气的和好，她是37 。我的母亲总是艰苦的工作。我爱我的父母！
在星期六和星期天，我经常去图书馆和弹钢琴，我的父亲去打球。有时候，我们看电视和听音乐在家里。
我爱...

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我不会英语呀，我的家人（我的家庭）
我爱我的家庭，因为我有一个幸福的家庭。
我的父亲是一名英语教师。他的名字是张学友。他是38 。他喜欢打篮球。我的母亲的工作吗？她是一名教师？是的，你说得对！我的母亲是非常客气的和好，她是37 。我的母亲总是艰苦的工作。我爱我的父母！
在星期六和星期天，我经常去图书馆和弹钢琴，我的父亲去打球。有时候，我们看电视和听音乐在家里。
我爱我的家庭。因为我非常高兴地与我的父母生活在一起！
My family
I love my family, because I have a happy family.
My father is an English teacher. His name is Jacky. He is thirty-eight. He likes playing basketball. What’s my mother job? Is she a teacher? Yes, you’re right! My mother is very kind and nice, she is thirty-seven. My mother is always laborious work. I love my parents!
On Saturday and Sunday, I often go to the library and play the piano, My father go to play basketball. Sometimes, we watch TV and listen to music at home.
I love my family. Because I’m very happy to live with my parents together!

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5-5.5的样子。
定语从句要多用之外，
学会用一点虚拟语气，倒装，强调，同位语 等高级句式。
模板痕迹太明显了。
词汇不需要特意改用生僻的词，用对就行，
和水平不相匹配的词汇显得过于堆砌