请高手帮我修改我的四级作文,并评论打分,不要机器!Creating a green campusWhen it comes to campus,some experts propose that we should create a green campus in order to provide students with a better atmosphere to make further progre

请高手帮我修改我的四级作文,并评论打分,不要机器!Creating a green campusWhen it comes to campus,some experts propose that we should create a green campus in order to provide students with a better atmosphere to make further progre
请高手帮我修改我的四级作文,并评论打分,不要机器!
Creating a green campus
When it comes to campus,some experts propose that we should create a green campus in order to provide students with a better atmosphere to make further progress and development in the college life in the future.
In my opinion,creating a green campus not only refers to "a green environment",but also implies some other requirements as well.Topping the list is that we need to have a harmonious relationship with each other.Subsequently,a green campus also refers to a better environment for students to do some community activities,to do some physical exercises.
For the purpose of creating a green campus,I think that there are some proposals which are necessary to mention about.First of all,we can join some communities,in that we can make more friends.Secondly,the campus should occasionally check out the environment where students live and ask them to obey the rules.Additionally,we students should conduct ourselves.Only if we behave ourselves,others who have some bad habits would give the bad habits up,even if they used to be accustomed to the bad habits.
To recapitulate,I reckon that creating a green campus is a significant task for both students and the campus.It would bring benefits to students and the further development of the campus.
following the outline given below
建设绿色校园十分重要
绿色校园不仅是指绿色的环境
为了建设绿色校园，我们应该

请高手帮我修改我的四级作文,并评论打分,不要机器!Creating a green campusWhen it comes to campus,some experts propose that we should create a green campus in order to provide students with a better atmosphere to make further progre
总体上看,这是一篇相当好的作文了,词汇丰富、句子多样.
但是建议把第二段和第三段换一下.四六级作文讲究的就是模板.三段式和四段式的是比较常见的,在考试的过程中一定要注意段落分明.
个人认为,字迹工整是最重要的.
如果你字写得好,这篇作文不是满分也只扣一两分.不错!
本人考四六级的时候内容一般,六级写得没你这个四级作文写得好,但字迹相当工整!得了一百多分.可以说作文是个拉分项目啊!

建议楼主多看四六级作文写法，网上都有，开头怎样，转折怎样转，结尾，归纳总结，都有很好的句子，可以背下来。
楼主作文的开头不太简洁，可以一句话概括某现象，再进行分析。我也不是高手，只是说说我的看法。