帮忙改下雅思英语作文啊~我7号就要考雅思了 平时都没怎么练作文 现在只好赶紧练练笔 行文结构 句法句式什么的~不甚感激啊~In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods.

帮忙改下雅思英语作文啊~我7号就要考雅思了 平时都没怎么练作文 现在只好赶紧练练笔 行文结构 句法句式什么的~不甚感激啊~In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods.
帮忙改下雅思英语作文啊~
我7号就要考雅思了 平时都没怎么练作文 现在只好赶紧练练笔 行文结构 句法句式什么的~不甚感激啊~
In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods.This is having a negative effect on both families and societies.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
With the rapid development of economy and society,the tendency of globalization sweeped the most of countries.Meanwhile,international fast food gradually occupied our daily live and our traditional foods are being replaced.Obviously,the phenomenon largely influced either our familes or the whole societies.
In the first instance,the appearance of fast food affect people’s traditionally domestic life styles.In the past,family members used to eat at home,enjoying the harmony that was passed from close relatives when they after school or off duty .Whereas now the majority of people,especially youngsters,are sweet on the fast foods,like KFC,Subway and so forth.The direct effect is people no longer eat around a big table and families lose the communicational chances there by making people less concerned with each other.
Besides,more negative effect are existing in the aspect of societies.As the most of people known,it is a big threat for traditional foods’structure with the prosperity of fast foods.The more we addict to the fast foods,the more we neglect the traditional foods.Moreover,usually the fast foods contain low nutrition,even there are some harmful materials among some of them.It will do harm to people’s health if you eat them for ages.
Although each nutshell has concave and convex sides,it would be wrong to say that fast foods are completely useless to humankind.We can not deny that fast foods also have their convenience for the modern life.At least,it suit for the fast pace life of 21st century and it provide much convenience and efficiency to busy workers.Furthermore,the unique diet form enrich our traditional life as well.
In the final analysis,weighing the pros and cons of fast foods,I’m inclined to agree with the point that fast foods have more negative effct on our families and societies.

帮忙改下雅思英语作文啊~我7号就要考雅思了 平时都没怎么练作文 现在只好赶紧练练笔 行文结构 句法句式什么的~不甚感激啊~In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods.
感觉很多语病.
很多句子读起来都怪怪的.而且“Although each nutshell has concave and convex sides,it would be wrong to say that fast foods are completely useless to humankind”翻译过来变成虽然事物有好有坏,但是说快餐对人完全没用是不对的.应该去掉although.