谁能告诉我2篇英语小短文急!关于春节的不用很长 最好还有几个英语小笑话~

谁能告诉我2篇英语小短文急!关于春节的不用很长 最好还有几个英语小笑话~
谁能告诉我2篇英语小短文急!
关于春节的不用很长 最好还有几个英语小笑话~

谁能告诉我2篇英语小短文急!关于春节的不用很长 最好还有几个英语小笑话~
一、The life I desired
That must be the story of innumerable couples, and the pattern of life of life it offers has a homely grace. It reminds you of a placid rivulet, meandering smoothly through green pastures and shaded by pleasant trees, till at last it falls into the vastly sea; but the sea is so calm, so silent, so indifferent, that you are troubled suddenly by a vague uneasiness. Perhaps it is only by a kink in my nature, strong in me even in those days, that I felt in such an existence, the share of the great majority, something amiss. I recognized its social value. I saw its ordered happiness, but a fever in my blood asked for a wilder course. There seemed to me something alarming in such easy delights. In my heart was desire to live more dangerously. I was not unprepared for jagged rocks and treacherous, shoals it I could only have change-change and the excitement of unforeseen.
二、The country Maid and Her Milk Can
A country maid was walking along with a can of milk upon her head, when she fell into the following train of reflections.” The money for which I shall sell this milk will enable me to increase my stock of eggs to three hundred, These eggs, allowing for what may prove addle, and what may be destroyed by vermin, will produce at least two hundred and fifty chickens. The chickens will be fit to carry to market just at the time when poultry is always dear; so that by the New Year I cannot fail of having money enough to purchase a new gown. Green-let me consider-yes, green becomes my complexion best. And green it shall be, in this dress I will go to the fair, where all young fellows will strive to have me for a partner; but no-I shall refuse every one of them, and with a disdainful toss turn from them."Transported with this idea, she could not forbear acting with her head the thought that passed in her mind, when down came the can of milk! And all her imaginary happiness vanished in a moment
1.Good Intentions
良好的心愿
One day a boy came to his teacher and said:" Teacher, pa wants to know if you like roast pig."
一天有个男孩去对他老师说：“老师,我爸想知道你是不是爱吃烤猪肉.”
"I certainly do," said the teacher, "and you tell your father he is very kind to think of me."
“当然罗,”老师说,“去告诉你父亲,多谢他想着我.”
Days passed, and nothing more was said about the roast pig.
好几天过去了,再没提起考猪肉的事儿.
Finally the teacher said to the boy:"I thought your father was going to send me over some roast pig."
最后老师对男孩说：“我以为你父亲要给我送点烤猪肉来呢.”
"Yes," said the boy, "he did intend to, but the pig sot well."
“是啊,”孩子说,“他是这么想的,可后来猪又没病了.”
2
Who Shot Abraham Lincoln
Mr. Smith and his son Rick were called to teacher 's classroom.
“ Mr. Smith, ” said the teacher, “ I asked Rick 'Who shot Abraham Lincoln?' and he said that he didn't do it! ”
“ Well, teacher, ” said Smith, “ if my kid said he didn't do it — he didn't do it! ” Father and son left the school, and on their way home, Smith turned to the boy and asked, “ Tell me, son, did you do it? ”
谁枪杀了阿拉伯罕·林肯
史密斯 先生和他的儿子瑞克被请进老师办公室.
“ 史密斯 先生,”老师说,“我问瑞克‘谁枪杀了阿拉伯罕·林肯?'他说不是他干的!”
“嗯,老师,” 史密斯说,“如果我的孩子说不是他干的,——那就不是他干的!”父亲与儿子离开学校,在回家的路上,史密斯问儿子：“告诉我,儿子,是你干的吗?”