雅思作文求评分,这是剑五test2的大作文.It is widely discussed whether youngsters should be encouraged to work or travel after finishing high school and start university studies one year later in some countries.Personally,I hold the view

雅思作文求评分,这是剑五test2的大作文.It is widely discussed whether youngsters should be encouraged to work or travel after finishing high school and start university studies one year later in some countries.Personally,I hold the view
雅思作文求评分,这是剑五test2的大作文.
It is widely discussed whether youngsters should be encouraged to work or travel after finishing high school and start university studies one year later in some countries.Personally,I hold the view that one year's experience in society would benefit to the youths to some extent.
First of all,young individuals would gain independence during working or travelling all by themselves.They would learn to arrange their own time and money reasonably,especially for the students in poverty,working would relieve the financial burden which is one of the vitally important factors of the sense of responsibility.Moreover,working or travelling would broaden their horizons and enrich their knowledge.Due to the limitation of subjects,society is the best 'university' to get the most practical skills outweighs any of the realistic universities.
Admittedly,there are drawbacks making this behaviour an unwise choice for young people.It seems to be time-consuming to give up studying to do irrelevant things.Without one year's break,these youngsters would get their academic qualifications earlier.Besides,it would not be a pleasant memory if the young folks come across unsafe,for instance,a young individual would get injured not only physically but mentally in a traffic accident while travelling.Additionally,young people would not be able to focus on the study once again after living freely for a year.Therefore,some youngsters would miss the opportunity,with pity,to gain a higher degree.
From my perspective,it is beneficial to the youth to experience distinctly from campus life before university studies.Thought their working or travelling,they may find out what their goals or dreams are in their life,and decide what they should do in the future.

雅思作文求评分,这是剑五test2的大作文.It is widely discussed whether youngsters should be encouraged to work or travel after finishing high school and start university studies one year later in some countries.Personally,I hold the view
我觉得你写的不错,结构很清晰,论点和论据一目了然.长短句结合.也有例子具体的分数我不好评,因为我的作文也就考了6.5.我就说说我认为的不足的地方吧,
第一是按照你的观点,你认为先工作旅游是好的,那么主体写的时候最好先写你不同意的观点.也就是把你这两个主体段换一下位置.第二是如果你想拿高分,最好能用上一些好词来代替比较普通和简单的表述.第三是我觉得最后的conclusion说这样可能会让年轻人找到一些方向这个观点应该是一个新的观点吧?你的支持段里并没有说到这个好处.而结论段式不允许出现新的观点的,应该是总结你的陈述.如果你想加上这个支持观点可以写进主体段里.然后综上所示,虽然先工作旅游有一些缺点,但是它既可以增长知识,又可以帮助青少年更好的实现目标.所以你支持先工作旅游这一观点.
总体来看六分以上是绝对没问题的,如果结合你小作文也不错的话,六点五的可能比较大,当然没准儿对哪个考官的胃口七分也不是没有可能的.