请老师分析我的句子有没有错overall,l agree that children are able to grasp some particular skills ;however ,those who want to be good in such fileds ,like music art or sport ,really needs some talent(或者 aptitude) (可不可以去掉th

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请老师分析我的句子有没有错overall,lagreethatchildrenareabletograspsomeparticularskills;however,thosewhowanttobego

请老师分析我的句子有没有错overall,l agree that children are able to grasp some particular skills ;however ,those who want to be good in such fileds ,like music art or sport ,really needs some talent(或者 aptitude) (可不可以去掉th
请老师分析我的句子有没有错
overall,l agree that children are able to grasp some particular skills ;however ,those who want to be good in such fileds ,like music art or sport ,really needs some talent(或者 aptitude) (可不可以去掉those直接用 who从句作为主语从句need 为宾语)

请老师分析我的句子有没有错overall,l agree that children are able to grasp some particular skills ;however ,those who want to be good in such fileds ,like music art or sport ,really needs some talent(或者 aptitude) (可不可以去掉th
前面的 Overall, I agree that children are able to grasp some particular skills 不存在问题,后面有几处错误.

  1、such as 或 such…as 是固定搭配,不能讲 such like 或 such…like.可以修改如下:

  * such fields as music, art or sport
  * some fields like music, art or sport

  2、those who want to be good in such fields as music, art or sport, really needs some talent(上面提到过的此处已经修正)中也有两处不妥:

  * those 是复数主语.后面的动词不能用单三形式 needs;
  * who want to be goodin such fields as music 是限制性定语从句,后面的逗号要去掉.

修改如下:

  however, those who want to be good in such fields as music, art or sport really need some talent