以下是鄙人写的主题为建国六十周年带来变化的作文,帮忙看一下有没有语法错误：All the changes in my lifeI like to draw,and I can draw well.But many years ago,the small town where I live has not drawing tools.So I can no

以下是鄙人写的主题为建国六十周年带来变化的作文,帮忙看一下有没有语法错误：All the changes in my lifeI like to draw,and I can draw well.But many years ago,the small town where I live has not drawing tools.So I can no
以下是鄙人写的主题为建国六十周年带来变化的作文,帮忙看一下有没有语法错误：
All the changes in my life
I like to draw,and I can draw well.But many years ago,the small town where I live has not drawing tools.So I can not draw
what I want to draw.
But now,Tremendous changes have taken place here.First of all,
I can buy drawing tools via the Internet,it is so easy I only need
to complete address and telephone number,after few days,I will get
my mew drawing tools!It is really fast By the way,the postman is
friendly and the drawing tools which I bought is very nice!
New,I can draw every thing what I want to draw.What a good thing!All this is thanks to the reform and opening up!I realized my dream at last.
如果全对的话，提几条建议也行，我觉得还是太短了，能不能帮忙加点？加的好的话还可以提高悬赏

以下是鄙人写的主题为建国六十周年带来变化的作文,帮忙看一下有没有语法错误：All the changes in my lifeI like to draw,and I can draw well.But many years ago,the small town where I live has not drawing tools.So I can no
第二句时态是过去式
it is so easy 前加for 或 because
mew 改成 new
after few days 加个 a
你第二段有First of all,但没下文了,比如second ,finally 等

完全正确

“ I like to draw"I like drawing
"where I live has not drawing " lived had
"after few days"改成A few

全对

All the changes in my life
I like to draw，and I can draw well.But many years ago,the small town where I live has no drawing tools.So I can not draw what I want to draw.
But now,Tremend...

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All the changes in my life
I like to draw，and I can draw well.But many years ago,the small town where I live has no drawing tools.So I can not draw what I want to draw.
But now,Tremendous changes have taken place here。I can buy drawing tools via the Internet.It is so easy that I only need to supply address and telephone number,after a few days,I will get my mew drawing tools! It is really fast !By the way,the postman is
friendly and the drawing tools which I bought is very nice!
Now,I can draw every thing what I want to draw。How good it is！All this is thanks to the reform and opening up！I realized my dream at last.
语法没有大的毛病，只是稍微改了改错别的单词！希望对你有所帮助！下文是关于神七的，你可以摘录一下！
Shenzhou VII
Chinese scientists have finished assembling the Long March II-F rocket that will carry the country's third manned（有人驾驶的） spaceship， Shenzhou VII， into space.
The China Academy of Launch Vehicle Technology held a ceremony on wednesday to celebrate the event.
The rocket has passed all tests at the assembly stage. It soon will be sent to the Jiuquan Satellite Launch Center in the northwestern Gansu Province， ready to carry the Shenzhou VII spaceship into space this evening，sep 25th.
Jing Muchun is the chief designer of the launch vehicle system at China's Manned Space Program.
"The spacecraft will be attached to the rocket at the launch site. We have tested the whole system about 10 times to ensure the safety of the rocket， we also make quality-control checks and think about all possible problems beforehand."
The Long March II-F carrier rocket is the largest of its kind in China， also the safest one. Scientists have made more than 30 technical improvements on the rocket to further increase its reliability for the launch of the Shenzhou VII. The spacecraft arrived at the launch center earlier this month.
China successfully sent two manned spacecraft into orbit in 2003 and 2005 respectively

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All the changes in my life
I like to draw. And I can draw well. But many years ago,the small town where I lived in didn't have drawing tools. I could not draw what I wanted to. So I always wan...

全部展开

All the changes in my life
I like to draw. And I can draw well. But many years ago,the small town where I lived in didn't have drawing tools. I could not draw what I wanted to. So I always wanted to have some good drawing tools.
But now, tremendous changes have taken place here. First of all,
I can buy drawing tools via the Internet. It is so easy! I only need
to submit my address and telephone number, in a few days,I will get
my mew drawing tools! It is really convenient! By the way,the deliverers are
friendly and the drawing tools I buy are very nice!
Now, I can draw everything what I want to draw. What a good thing! All this is because of the reform and open policy! My dream can finally come true.
改了一下。作为一个英文/中文老师，我觉得这篇文章以购买方式的变化作为改革开放/六十年的一个重要成就，这有点不够吧？
其次，就算以这个为主题，tremendous changes巨大的变化，只是能从网上定购到画具吗？你前面说小镇上没有卖，那现在呢？有很多商店了吗？你能买到所有你想买的东西了吗？你的前后对比不明确。六十年的变化没有体现出来。
打英文的时候不要用中文的标点符号！正确的格式是最后一个单词+标点符号+空格+第二句话

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