托福作文修改~~谢谢~~TPO-1 Independent writing task At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Nowadays, there is a debate about whethe

托福作文修改~~谢谢~~TPO-1 Independent writing task At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Nowadays, there is a debate about whethe
托福作文修改~~谢谢~~
TPO-1 Independent writing task
At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

Nowadays, there is a debate about whether sports and social activities are as important as classes and libraries, I’m shocked by the distance between different thought of people, in my opinion there is no doubt that sports and social activities is important and should acquire equal finance support as classes and libraries, the reason as follow.

First of all, developing the sports and social activities can reduce the rate of psychological problem in the college students. In my university, students suicide appear every year, to my surprise, these youth chose to die only for some problem that is very prevalent among college student. Such as diverging with her (or his) lover, missing a good chance of work, having a bad relationship of chums and so on. These problem have a long distance to serious, but so many beautiful life lost because of them, the essential problem is students’ vulanarat heart, they cannot breakthrough the dilemma, and why them cannot do it is that they lack of experience. If a student can have more chance to touch the real society, to communicate with other people who have experience, they will know how to cope with the depression. On the other hand, sport and social activities also can distract people attention and reduce their press.

Second, the social activities have a function which classes and libraries is hard to instead, strengthen the ability of knowledge application. Clearly, sports and social activities in the universities and colleges provide students with a perfect setting to practice their social skills. I remember a few days before, a American senior students invent a sort of paper which can testing decades of cancer shocking all over the world, how he success is also make people feel incredible, he just learn by
himself and test again and again, no class, no teacher, what teach him is the experiment. So, theory is a guide, practice is the way to success. Regardless how much knowledge a students get, if he can not apply them in his life and work, it is useless. Theories and practice are the two arms of succeed, of course, they should have a equal status.

Finance supply is a important resource of college and university developing, how to allocate it is a vital strategy. As we said above, sports and social activities play equal
important roles as classes and libraries, should acquire the same supporting.

托福作文修改~~谢谢~~TPO-1 Independent writing task At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Nowadays, there is a debate about whethe
At universities and colleges,sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.
Nowadays,there is a debate about whether sports and social activities are as important as classes and libraries,I’m shocked by the distance between different thought of people,in my opinion there is no doubt that sports and social activities is(复数要用are) important and should acquire equal finance(是financial) support as classes and libraries,the reason as follow.
First of all,developing the sports and social activities can reduce the rate of psychological problem (in 要改为 of) the college students.In my university,students suicide (应该是student suicide 是个复合名词) appear(appears) every year,to my surprise,these youth chose to die only for some problem(problems) that is very prevalent among college student(students).Such as diverging with her (or his) lover,missing a good chance of work,having a bad relationship of chums and so on.These problem(复数problems) have a long distance to serious (这一句我无法可以理解出究竟你要表达甚麼?),but so many beautiful life(复数lives) lost because of them,the essential problem is students’ vulanarat(大概你是想说 vulnerable脆弱的 ) heart,they cannot breakthrough (break through 是两个字) the dilemma,and why them(是they) cannot do it is that they lack (去掉 of) experience.If a student can have more chance(chances) to touch the real society,to communicate with other people who have (加got) experience,they will know how to cope with the depression.On the other hand,sport(sports) and social activities also can distract people(people's) attention and reduce their press(pressure).
Second,the social activities have a function which classes and libraries is hard to instead(应该用replace),strengthen(strengthening) the ability of knowledge application.Clearly,sports and social activities in the universities and colleges provide students with a perfect setting to practice their social skills.I remember a few days before,a(是 an) American senior students(student) invent(ed) a sort of paper which (can testing 要改为 could test) decades of cancer(shocking all over要改为 and has shocked) the (whole) world,how he (has) success(succeeded) is(was) also make(making) people (to) feel incredible,he just learn(ed) by
himself and test(ed) again and again,no class(es),no teacher(s),what teach(taught) him is(were) the experiment(s).So,(要加the) theory is a guide,practice is the way to success.Regardless how much knowledge a students(用单数student) get(s),if he can not(cannot 是一个字) apply them in his life and work,it is useless.Theories and practice are the two arms of succeed (succeeding / success),of course,they should have a(an) equal status.
Finance supply is a(an) important resource of college and university developing,how to allocate it is a vital strategy.As we said above,sports and social activities play equal(是 equally)
important roles as classes and libraries,should acquire the same supporting.
文章有很多错漏,但我已替你尽量更正好了,