请帮我改一下我的英语作文,看一下有没有语病,如果可以的话请帮我修改一下文章.my favorite starDo you know Wu Zun?He is my favorite star,and his english name is Chun Wu.of course,Chun is very handsome,and i can say he is

请帮我改一下我的英语作文,看一下有没有语病,如果可以的话请帮我修改一下文章.my favorite starDo you know Wu Zun?He is my favorite star,and his english name is Chun Wu.of course,Chun is very handsome,and i can say he is
请帮我改一下我的英语作文,看一下有没有语病,如果可以的话请帮我修改一下文章.
my favorite star
Do you know Wu Zun?He is my favorite star,and his english name is Chun Wu.
of course,Chun is very handsome,and i can say he is more pretty than other actors.But it's not the most important reason.
Many people think that Chun's just an actor,but who knows the story of him?
Chun is successful because of his hard-working.After Chun finished his study,he became a model to make money.Athough his family is rich,he didn't use his parents' money.Then he had his own company.And he became the youngest entrepreneur in Brunei.He's a star in the business.Now,he becomes an actor.He's also a star in Entertainment.
Chun said,he has a very difficult time before famous,but he didn't give up.
After i knew the things about Chun,he has been a star in my eyes.the star is bright in my road,and i'll follow the star forever to make my own dream come ture.

请帮我改一下我的英语作文,看一下有没有语病,如果可以的话请帮我修改一下文章.my favorite starDo you know Wu Zun?He is my favorite star,and his english name is Chun Wu.of course,Chun is very handsome,and i can say he is
my favorite star
Do you know Wu Zun?He is my favorite star,and his english name is Chun Wu.
of course,Chun is very handsome,and i can say he is more pretty than (the)other actors.But it's not the most important reason.
Many people think that Chun's just an actor,but who knows the story of(behind) him?
Chun is successful because of his hard-working.After Chun finished his study,he became a model to make money.Athough his family is rich,he didn't use his parents' money.(he didn't ask their parents for money)Then he had his own company.And he became the youngest entrepreneur in Brunei.He's a star in the business.Now,he becomes an actor.He's also a star in Entertainment.
Chun said,he has a very difficult time before(加上being) famous,but he didn't give up.
After(改为since) i knew the things about Chun,he has been a star in my eyes.the star is bright in my road,and i'll follow the star forever to make my own dream come ture.

第一行and前的逗号应该去掉，其他都挺好的，加油