FML是什么意思?不知道不怪你,也不怪我

FML是什么意思?不知道不怪你,也不怪我
FML是什么意思?不知道不怪你,也不怪我

FML是什么意思?不知道不怪你,也不怪我
其实FML的意思是Fuck My Life,翻译成中文就是我操蛋的人生,通俗的说法就是中文的我操.其实起因是因为国外有个类似中国分享秘密的网站,上面都是网友写的自己生活中遇到的糗事或者操蛋的事情.现在给大家精选一些让大家一起乐乐!
Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
　　今天,我在邮箱里收到了我的护照.他们把我的生日搞错了.然后我找到了我一起送去申请护照的出生证明.结果我发现我的父母16年来一直在错误的一天给我过生日.FML
　　Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
　　今天,我在上课的时候睡觉.我的JJ石更了,而且我穿的是很宽松的裤子.我的老师走了过来一把抓住了我的JJ她以为那是我手机.FML
　　Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
　　今天,我听见了我的姐姐在她的房间里面ZW.为了逃出去,我带着狗出去遛了遛.我回来的时候正巧碰见她出来,手里拿的东西是我的电动牙刷.FML
　　Today, this really attractive woman that I've known for years told me that when I can have sex with her standing up, she'll have sex with me. I'm confined to a wheelchair. FML
　　今天,一个我认识了很久的很性感的女人跟我说,如果我能站着和她做,她就和我做.我残疾坐轮椅.FML
　　Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
　　今天,我在和我的男朋友OOXX.当他要丢了的时候,他突然声嘶力竭地大喊太棒了Brittany!我的名字不是Brittany.Brittany是他的妹妹.FML
　　Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
　　今天,我老板叫我去他的办公室,要给我看一个可能成为我们的商业伙伴的公司的网站.当他在谷歌里面打Virginia这个词的时候,网站把他的搜索自动补完成了他最近才搜索过的词条小处男的菊花.我明天就要和他一起出差.我是个年轻男人.FML
　　Today, I asked my boyfriend to come over for dinner because I had some big news. He said he did too, and came over. After stuffing his face full of food, he broke up with me and said he'd re-enlisted into the marines, leaving in two weeks. I was going to tell him i'm 9 weeks pregnant. FML
　　今天,我让我男朋友来我家吃饭因为我有个大消息要告诉他.他说他也有个大消息要告诉我.在他吃得差不多的时候,他说要和我分手因为他两个星期以后就要去海军陆战队报道了.我准备告诉他我已经怀孕9个星期了.FML
　　Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
　　今天,我发现我怀孕了.我已经和老公试了很长时间,所以我等不及要把这个好消息告诉他.当我推开他的办公室的门准备给他一个惊喜时,我看到他和一个男的在亲热.FML
　　Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
　　今天,我结婚9年的老公告诉我说他是搞基的.他甚至还暗示我说,他和我在一起的时候能硬起来,是因为我长得比较爷们.FML
　　Today I noticed that my daughter was making funny noises which oddly resembled sex sounds my wife makes. When I asked her what she was doing she said "I'm pretending to be mommy from last night." I was on a business trip last night. FML
　　今天,我发现我女儿在模仿很奇怪的、听起来像我老婆在OOXX时发出的声音.当我问她你在干嘛的时候她说我在学我妈咪昨晚的声音.我昨晚出差.FML
　　Today, my wife is divorcing me because she wants to party more with her friends alone. One year ago, I followed her to Norway, where her family lives. I left my friends, family and job opportunities (which were very good) in order to live with her. Now I am shoveling shit on a horse farm. FML
　　今天,我老婆要和我离婚因为她想和她的狐朋狗友们多玩一玩.一年前,我跟着她来到了她老家挪威.我离开了我的朋友,家庭和一份很好的工作,就是为了和她一起住.现在我TMD在一个马场铲马粪.FML
　　Today, I got a call from the hospital that my fiance was in the ER. When I arrived at the hospital they told me that he had a heart attack while having sex. FML
　　今天,我接到一个电话说我的未婚夫被送进了急救室.当我赶到急救室的时候,他们告诉我说原因是他在和某人OOXX的时候心脏病发作了.FML
　　Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML
　　今天,我交往了三年的女友离开了我找了个新男友.她的理由是她需要找一个可靠的未来的经济后盾.没错那个哥们确实是有一个卖手机的亭子.但是我就要在医学院就读了.