请帮我检查下~看英语通顺吗?sorryIf unsatisfied may return goods.But you should provide the complete postage.And cannot receive immediately refunds money.Because I have not received the cash at present,only receives the bank draft.I will po

请帮我检查下~看英语通顺吗?sorryIf unsatisfied may return goods.But you should provide the complete postage.And cannot receive immediately refunds money.Because I have not received the cash at present,only receives the bank draft.I will po
请帮我检查下~看英语通顺吗?
sorry
If unsatisfied may return goods.But you should provide the complete postage.And cannot receive immediately refunds money.
Because I have not received the cash at present,only receives the bank draft.I will possibly receive the money about 40 days.Was sorry very much that please forgive.Whether can after I receive the money the part refunds money for you?
Wishes your good luck
Best Regards!

请帮我检查下~看英语通顺吗?sorryIf unsatisfied may return goods.But you should provide the complete postage.And cannot receive immediately refunds money.Because I have not received the cash at present,only receives the bank draft.I will po
.不顺.太不顺了.给楼主改了改.
I am very sorry.
If you are unsatisfied,you may return the goods.However,you should provide the complete postage.Please note that I will not be able to refund your money immediately because at present,I have not yet received the cash; I have only received the bank draft.I will possibly receive the money in about 40 days.I apologize sincerely for your forgiveness.Is it possible to give you the refind after I receive the money?
Wish you good luck.
Best Regards,
署名
其中最后一句“Whether can after I receive the money the part refunds money for you?” 咱不敢肯定是否明白了楼主的意思 是想说“能否在我收到钱之后再退款给您呢?” 如果是就没问题了 不是的话咱上面最后一句得改改
另外书信的习惯是在最后祝福语后加逗号 然后署名.

额...语法很多错误...
另外,如果这是比较正式的文书的话~~~~
and是不能做句子的开头~~~
可以考虑用其他词~~~

简单指出一些错误吧：
1.unsatisfied , 是形容词，在标准的句子语法中是不可以充当名词的，所以应该改为 unsatisfiction.
2.refund本来就是退款的意思，所以后面不应该再加money.
3.现在完成时态后面的时间状语不能是at present。应该把句子改正为：I have not received the cash till now.

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简单指出一些错误吧：
1.unsatisfied , 是形容词，在标准的句子语法中是不可以充当名词的，所以应该改为 unsatisfiction.
2.refund本来就是退款的意思，所以后面不应该再加money.
3.现在完成时态后面的时间状语不能是at present。应该把句子改正为：I have not received the cash till now.
4.only receives the bank draft ， 这句的动词时态应该与上句相同，所以改为received.
5.Was sorry very much that please forgive. 中间的that 改为 and
6.Whether can after I receive the money the part refunds money for you? 这句话实在有点费解。请注明中文含义吧。

收起

虽然大概能了解你的意思，你最好把你想表达的具体中文意思说一下。
不过很不通顺，有些地方很中化