我写的一段sat作文的段落,大牛们帮忙挑挑错吧Elizabeth BonnetMany writers realized the importance of individualism,too,and a character in “pride and prejudice” from Jane Austin serves as an illustration Elizabeth Bonnet was born i

我写的一段sat作文的段落,大牛们帮忙挑挑错吧Elizabeth BonnetMany writers realized the importance of individualism,too,and a character in “pride and prejudice” from Jane Austin serves as an illustration Elizabeth Bonnet was born i
我写的一段sat作文的段落,大牛们帮忙挑挑错吧
Elizabeth Bonnet
Many writers realized the importance of individualism,too,and a character in “pride and prejudice” from Jane Austin serves as an illustration Elizabeth Bonnet was born in a competently status-based society in England,where one would get marry for money or social status instead of love.Most people around her,including her mother,who was dominated by the idea of advantageous marriage,and her intimate friend,charlotte Lukas,who did not like ridiculous Mr.Collin yet accepted his proposal owning to his promise that he can bring her a decent life,urge her to marry an esteemed and “upper-class” gentleman.On the contrary,Elizabeth,apart from them and determined to marry the man she love,refused Darcy’s proposal due to Mr.Dairy’s exceedingly pound,albeit he is an affluent,handsome and revered man.Notwithstanding,after she recognize Mr.Dairy’s true worth and sincere love,she eagerly accepted his second propane even though Darcy’s aunt inhibit her to do so.by this time,Darcy forgoes his pride and Elizabeth gives up her prejudice,ultimately,by sticking to her belief and ignore other’s maintenance,Elisabeth win Mr.Darcy’s respect and love,and had a admirable marriage with him.One full of love and mutual respect.

我写的一段sat作文的段落,大牛们帮忙挑挑错吧Elizabeth BonnetMany writers realized the importance of individualism,too,and a character in “pride and prejudice” from Jane Austin serves as an illustration Elizabeth Bonnet was born i
[...] 是我做的修改
(...) 是需要省略的
【...】是我的中文解释以及疑问
在我完全帮你改好之前我有几个问题想要问你.前面几句话没什么很大的问题,后面的就有不少地方写的不是很明白,所以我想你先回答一下我的几个疑问.回答之后我就可以马上按照你的想法去改.
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Many writers realized the importance of individualism[.] (too)【为什么这里要用too?如果前面没有上文的话,too是没有必要的】
(And) [Elizabeth Bonnet,] a character in [Jane Austin's] "pride and prejudice" (from Jane Austin)【英文里面习惯把作者的名字放前面】 serves as an illustration[.]
【同样的这个and是没有必要的.另外就是先介绍这个人物的名字,然后说明她是谁,从哪里来的】
[She] was born in a competently status-based society in [在这里最好加上故事发生的时间,比如说18XX年,那就是：19th century,17XX年就是：18th century等以此类推] England,where one would get marry for money or social status instead of love.
Most people around her,including her mother,who was dominated by the idea of advantageous marriage,and her intimate friend,[C]harlotte Lukas,who [accepted the proposal of the ridiculous Mr.Collin owning to his promise that he can bring her a decent life,] urged Elizabeth to marry an esteemed and “upper-class” gentleman.
【改了挺长的一段.之前你写的我看了好久才明白你说的Mr Collin是和Charlotte结婚的.所以为了把人物关系写的更清晰,我把句子按照你原来写的改了一下】
On the contrary,Elizabeth [is] (apart from them and) determined to marry the man she love(,) refused Darcy's proposal due to Mr.Dairy's exceedingly pound【这个pound是指Dairy很有钱吗?如果是的,那为什么前面还要说Elizabeth想嫁给一个自己爱的人呢?这里的Elizabeth拒绝的Darcy的求婚是因为看重Dairy的钱?】,albeit he【请问这里的he是Darcy还是Dairy?】 is an affluent,handsome and revered man.
Not withstanding【这个又是什么not withstanding啊?你没有说清楚】,after she recognize Mr.Dairy's true worth and sincere love,she eagerly accepted his second propane even though Darcy's aunt inhibit her to do so.【之前不是说为了Dairy的钱而拒绝了Darcy吗?那为什么Dairy又求婚了呢?是不是LZ把Darcy写成了Dairy啊?因为说是Dairy的求婚,跟Darcy的阿姨有什么关系啊?】
[By] this time,Darcy forgoes his pride and Elizabeth gives up her prejudice,ultimately,by sticking to her belief and ignore other's maintenance,Elisabeth win Mr.Darcy’s respect and love,and had a admirable marriage with him.One full of love and mutual respect.【我想还是因为刚才Dairy和Darcy写错了吧?不然的话这里就更牛头不对马嘴了】