SAT作文求修改求润色!Should heroes be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it?‘I have a dream that one day…’Yeah,that is such a dream,it represent the dream of all the black people,but only

SAT作文求修改求润色!Should heroes be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it?‘I have a dream that one day…’Yeah,that is such a dream,it represent the dream of all the black people,but only
SAT作文求修改求润色!
Should heroes be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it?
‘I have a dream that one day…’Yeah,that is such a dream,it represent the dream of all the black people,but only he,Martin Lunther King,said it out.Can we deny that he was a hero?Of course not ,because he spoke out at the risk of so many rejection,we should consider him as a true hero.
Heroes isn’t a few in our world.
The thing that is heavier drops quicker.This rule had been accepted by people for 2000 years.No one suspect it.However,with the development of science,some scientsists began to doubt it,but this rule had lasted so long that most of the scientists lacked the courage to say it out.Galileo,a famous scientist of ancient Greece,did not believe the rule,so he said out that it was wrong and he conducted a famous experiment on Pizza Tower.The experiment proved that there is no relation between the weight and the speed of object.The rule which lasted for 2000 years was broken by Galileo who was the only one had courage to say the was false.
You know Abraham Lincoln,right?Of course the Getty Sburg speech,right?When the whole coutry lose faith to win the war,Abraham Lincoln,the presidebt of United States,delegate a lot of patriots to give out the Gatty Sburg speech to inspire all the citizen of United States.He was the only one who dare to put out the speech in such dangerous situation.Finally,he led the American people to win the American Civil War.Unforantely this great hero was killed in 1865.He was such a hero,wasn’t he?
From the samples above,I understand that the true hero is the one who say what they think when we ourselves lack of the courage to say it.Now I have a dream that one day I could be a hero,a true hero,what about you?
随手写的，第一篇，我知道很水，希望大家能把一些句子改得看上去比较优美或者比较牛B，也可以补充一下各个论点

SAT作文求修改求润色!Should heroes be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it?‘I have a dream that one day…’Yeah,that is such a dream,it represent the dream of all the black people,but only
我写在括号里了,顺便纠正了下语法.
没做什么很大的改变,但是要是你觉得不够的话我可以在该.
‘I have a dream that one day…’Yeah,that is such a dream,it represent(s) the dream of all the black people,but only he(him),Martin Lunther King,said it out.Can we deny that he was a hero?Of course not ,because he spoke out at the risk of so many rejection(s),(he was not afraid to say what he thought,even when he knew there would be disagreements.) we should consider him as a true hero.
Heroes isn’t a few in our world.(你想说"there isn't only a few heros in our world"?)
The thing that is heavier drops quicker.This rule had been accepted by people for 2000 years.No one suspect it.However,with the development of science,some scientsists began to doubt it,but this rule had lasted so long that most of the scientists lacked the(had lack of) courage to say it out.Galileo,a famous scientist of ancient Greece,did not believe the rule,so he said out that it was wrong (so he said to people that it was wrong,out loud,避免过多重复的语句)and he conducted a famous experiment on Pizza Tower.The experiment proved that there is no relation(relationship?) between the weight and the speed of (an) object.The rule which(that has been) lasted for 2000 years was broken by Galileo(---) who was the only one had courage to say the was false.
You know Abraham Lincoln,right?Of course the Getty Sburg speech,right?When the whole coutry lose(lost) faith to win the war,Abraham Lincoln,the presidebt of United States,delegate a lot of patriots to give out the Gatty Sburg speech to inspire all the citizen of United States.He was the only one who dare to put out the speech in such dangerous situation.Finally,he led the American people to win the American Civil War.(,but)Unforantely this great hero was killed in 1865.He was such a hero,wasn’t he?
From the samples above,I understand (believe)that the true hero is the one who say(s) what they think when we ourselves lack of the courage to say it.Now I have a dream that one day I could be a hero,a true hero,what about you?

你太口语化了，作文式正式场合用语。像“yeah”这样的词汇不要用，句子中间不要太多的标点符号。其他的还没看，晚上给你瞧瞧。

太口语化了，尤其是最后一句反而给了不好的影响～内容还不错。但是句子可以再精炼和有力点。8到9分左右，这几个月改作文的老师超级严！！

这位大哥，你开头的标题已经有run-on 句子和dependent cause的语法错误。建议你去查一下。还有人名要用“”号，如civil right英雄要用“Martin Lunther King”。
最后，你的supporting detail用的不错，可是最后面的Main idea应当写多一点理由。