请大家帮我看看我这句英语通不通I do not know what time you should be online如果要表达我:怎么改

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请大家帮我看看我这句英语通不通Idonotknowwhattimeyoushouldbeonline如果要表达我:怎么改请大家帮我看看我这句英语通不通Idonotknowwhattimeyoushou

请大家帮我看看我这句英语通不通I do not know what time you should be online如果要表达我:怎么改
请大家帮我看看我这句英语通不通
I do not know what time you should be online
如果要表达我:怎么改

请大家帮我看看我这句英语通不通I do not know what time you should be online如果要表达我:怎么改
建议把what time改成when,should be 改成will be
I don't know when you will be on line.

我觉得原句很好

I do not know what time you are online?

我建议: I do not know when you will be online.

i do not know what time you will be online