我写的作文 请求高手修改 帮我进步 尽量不要偏离我的本意 不足之处 求改正My lovely hometownIf I say I come from Dengfeng,you may even not hear about it,but if I say I come from ShaoLin Tample,I am sure you know it very wel

我写的作文 请求高手修改 帮我进步 尽量不要偏离我的本意 不足之处 求改正My lovely hometownIf I say I come from Dengfeng,you may even not hear about it,but if I say I come from ShaoLin Tample,I am sure you know it very wel
我写的作文 请求高手修改 帮我进步 尽量不要偏离我的本意 不足之处 求改正
My lovely hometown
If I say I come from Dengfeng,you may even not hear about it,but if I say I come from ShaoLin Tample,I am sure you know it very well.
Dengfeng,my hometown,is famous for ShaoLin Tample.Every year,more than thousands of people come to Dengfeng to visit ShaoLin Tample.I think it is the Chinese Kofu which give people an image that only hero can own it that attract people all over the world to come here.However,I am a girl who have no interest in it and I do not want to describe it in detail.
I would like to represent the scenic attraction in Dengfeng.Dengfeng is a city have many mountains in it.Among them the most distinguished one is Mountain Song,one of the five famous mountains in China,give people here a lot of fun.Spring had come early this year,with warm quick rains and sudden frothing of pink peach blossoms and dogwood dappling with white stars and Mountain Song.It is the best time for people here to do some mountain-climbing.Mountain-climbing is the favourite sport here in Dengfeng.Carried some food and water,in a sunny day,set out,to enjoy our life!
Songyang Faculty,academy of classical learning in old day,is another place of interest in Dengfeng.There are three admiral cypresses in it.One thousand years ago,the king of Han dynasty came here to visit Songyang Faculty.When she saw the first big cypress,she said in surprise:"What a big cypress!"So she called it "No.1 cypress."Then she walked along the road,when she saw the second large cypress,she amazed:"This one is bigger than the first one!"But she can not change her word ,so she called it"No.2 cypress".But when she saw the third huge cypress,she astounded:"This one is the biggest one!"Can you image that The biggest cypress was called"No.3 cypress",The biggest one was so angry that it is a paunch was broken.
This is my hometown,lovely and centuried.Welcome to Dengfeng!
指出要害者

我写的作文 请求高手修改 帮我进步 尽量不要偏离我的本意 不足之处 求改正My lovely hometownIf I say I come from Dengfeng,you may even not hear about it,but if I say I come from ShaoLin Tample,I am sure you know it very wel
少林寺 Shaolin Temple
I think it is the Chinese Kofu which give people / which 改成 that 、give 改成gives (定语从句、强调句型)
我直接改吧 However,I am a girl who has no interest in it and I do not want to describe it in details.
Dengfeng is a city have many mountains in it.(其实这句不需要用从句,英语写作不是一定要逮着个句子就将它复杂化了)
eg.There exists many mountains in Df.
one of the most five famous mountains in China,which gives the local people a lot of fun.
没怎么细看,其实没什么大问题,都是些小的笔误吧!英语只是一个语言,你写的复杂句吧,读着不是很顺口.就像韩寒说过,写东西就是要写自己熟悉的!我们用英语写文章,也自然是用我们熟悉的句型来写,尤其是在考试的时候!

If I said I come from Dengfeng,you may have never heard about it,\
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这样太麻烦了，1，要用过去式，say-said 2，少林寺是temple，前面是e不是a 3，but if I say I come from ShaoLin Tample,I am sure you know ...

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If I said I come from Dengfeng,you may have never heard about it,\
\
这样太麻烦了，1，要用过去式，say-said 2，少林寺是temple，前面是e不是a 3，but if I say I come from ShaoLin Tample,I am sure you know it very well.将这句话改成 but you certainly will know if I say I come from the Shaolin Temple.\你的翻译太中文化了 4，功夫是kungfu

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