老师可以批改一下雅思作文吗?我是新手,希望还能给个分数.题目是关于新老师和新医生是否必须下乡去支教In this day and age,some children from the rural places cannot get the education of high quality.To solve the

老师可以批改一下雅思作文吗?我是新手,希望还能给个分数.题目是关于新老师和新医生是否必须下乡去支教In this day and age,some children from the rural places cannot get the education of high quality.To solve the
老师可以批改一下雅思作文吗?我是新手,希望还能给个分数.题目是关于新老师和新医生是否必须下乡去支教
In this day and age,some children from the rural places cannot get the education of high quality.To solve the problem,many argue that new teachers and doctors should be sent to countryside but some argue that new teachers and doctors have the right to work in cities.Personally,fully sanction the former.
First and foremost,it is widely by most accepted that new staff from the public departments should be give a chance to work in places where is remote.Individuals who work in rural places can enrich their social experience according to the mainstream news sources.Moreover,it is believed that new teachers and doctors working in the countryside is beneficial to promoting the development of the education of local areas.Researches are telling us that children from the countryside of China get a higher quality education these years.Furthermore,the final point that many argue that the act will promote the development of whole country.This point best illustrated with the example of the developing country(China,India,Brazil etc.)
Some people may actually answer to the contrary that citizens have the right to choose where and how to work.Accordingly,they believed that an enlightened society needs to give individuals free rights.Specifically,choosing where to work is citizens' essential right.However,what is almost certain is that different circumstances need different solutions.For instance,there are many rural places in India and free rights may not be efficient in these areas.
In sum,as far as I concerned,it would be sensible to suggest that new teachers and doctors have responsibility to work in rural places first.
Some children in rural places cannot have good schools and medical facilities.To improve this situation,some people suggest that new teachers and doctors should be sent to rural places for several years.Others,believe everyone has free right to choose where to work.Discuss both views and give your opinion

老师可以批改一下雅思作文吗?我是新手,希望还能给个分数.题目是关于新老师和新医生是否必须下乡去支教In this day and age,some children from the rural places cannot get the education of high quality.To solve the
from the rural places --> in the rural places
是来自 还是 在? 好好思考一下
argue 这个动作并不能 solve the problem
而且新老师被送去 = =!第一有被动之意,第二新老师并不能很好的提高教育质量,与之前的内容逻辑不符合
should “应该” 牵扯到 人权问题 ,这里语气太强硬了
对不起,后面的不改了,英文作文注重逻辑性和条理性,希望作者能够从这两点出发,改变文章风格