请帮我改改英语日记我自学的 刚刚两个月 请别笑话我December,4th,2009 Friday.snowstormWinter is realy coming!snow and strong wind are together that become the first time snowstorm of ShenYang.i'm standing near by the window,snowfla

请帮我改改英语日记我自学的 刚刚两个月 请别笑话我December,4th,2009 Friday.snowstormWinter is realy coming!snow and strong wind are together that become the first time snowstorm of ShenYang.i'm standing near by the window,snowfla
请帮我改改英语日记
我自学的 刚刚两个月 请别笑话我
December,4th,2009 Friday.snowstorm
Winter is realy coming!snow and strong wind are together that become the first time snowstorm of ShenYang.i'm standing near by the window,
snowflakes blowing in the wind,that looking like a beatiful firecracker in the sky.what a snow!at this time,my heart is blowing in the snow
else.
Time always had her says,Moreover it often makes me afraid,blink of an eye,to the end of the day,no anyone in the lane.lately,i'm usually
go to the park,i'm running an hour and a half of hour after supper.blink of an eye,i've been quit smoking for two weeks.i'm realy feeling change
myself for day by day.i correct a lot of fault of mine.my dream is be an useful man,i'm not different anybody eles,come on,gogogo!i would like to
pay the full,i find the more you listen to English,the easier it become.i have a object yet.so,i believe i can survive.in the last,i will
thanks my Mom and my old man,my girl friend,and my brother-Mr .Yu ha-ha.
End

请帮我改改英语日记我自学的 刚刚两个月 请别笑话我December,4th,2009 Friday.snowstormWinter is realy coming!snow and strong wind are together that become the first time snowstorm of ShenYang.i'm standing near by the window,snowfla
December,4th,2009 Friday.snowstorm
Winter is realy coming!snow with the strong wind come together which is the first snowstorm of ShenYang.i'm standing by the window,
snowflakes are flying in the wind,that look like a beautiful firecracker in the sky.what a snow!at this time,my heart is blowing in the snow
else.
Time is always as what she said,Moreover it often makes me scared,blink of an eye,to the end of the day,no one in the lane.lately,I often
go to the park,i would run for an hour and a half after supper.within a blink of an eye,i've quit smoking for two weeks.i'm realy feeling the change of
myself for day by day.i corrected a lot of my own fault .my dream is to be an useful man,i'm not different from anybody eles,come on,gogogo!i would like to
pay the full,i find that the more you listen to English,the easier it becomes.i have an object yet.so,i believe i can survive.in the last,i will
thank my Mom and my old man,my girl friend,and my brother-Mr .Yu ha-ha.
（看的出来,英语基础不是很好,我顺着你的思路,改正了一些语法错误和表达错误） good luck
End

December,4th,2009 Friday. snowstorm
Winter is realy coming! snow with the strong wind come together which is the first snowstorm of ShenYang. i'm standing by the window,
snowflakes ar...

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December,4th,2009 Friday. snowstorm
Winter is realy coming! snow with the strong wind come together which is the first snowstorm of ShenYang. i'm standing by the window,
snowflakes are flying in the wind, that look like a beautiful firecracker in the sky. what a snow! at this time, my heart is blowing in the snow
else.
Time is always as what she said, Moreover it often makes me scared, blink of an eye, to the end of the day, no one in the lane. lately,I often
go to the park, i would run for an hour and a half after supper.within a blink of an eye, i've quit smoking for two weeks. i'm realy feeling the change of
myself for day by day. i corrected a lot of my own fault . my dream is to be an useful man, i'm not different from anybody eles, come on, gogogo!!! i would like to
pay the full, i find that the more you listen to English, the easier it becomes. i have an object yet. so, i believe i can survive. in the last, i will
thank my Mom and my old man, my girl friend, and my brother-Mr .Yu ha-ha.

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他们都帮你改了，我只想说一点，日记应该用过去式写，因为这都是今天过去的事情了。
刚开始学就试着写日记，很不错，真的，不过还得加油哦
good luck

December,4th,2009 Friday. snowstorm
Winter is realy coming! Snow and strong wind are together that become the first time snowstorm of ShenYang. I'm standing near by the window,snowflakes bl...

全部展开

December,4th,2009 Friday. snowstorm
Winter is realy coming! Snow and strong wind are together that become the first time snowstorm of ShenYang. I'm standing near by the window,snowflakes blowing in the wind, that looking like a beatiful firecracker in the sky. What a snow! At this time, my heart is blowing in the snowelse.
Time always had her says, moreover it often makes me afraid, blink of an eye, to the end of the day, no anyone in the lane. Lately,I usually go to the park, I'm running an hour and a half of hour after supper. Blink of an eye, I've been quit smoking for two weeks. I'm really feeling change myself for day by day. I correct a lot of fault of mine. My dream is be an useful man, I'm not different anybody eles, come on, go go go!!! I would like to pay the full, I find the more you listen to English, the easier it become. I have a object yet. So, I believe I can survive. At the last, I will
thanks my Mom and my old man, my girl friend, and my brother-Mr .Yu ha-ha.
End

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