英语作文求批改,要考试了!What is the greatest invention of the 20 Century?There is no doubt,the computer is one of the greatest invention of the 20 Century.It is reported,in China,the use of computer people increased by 513000000.We can see

英语作文求批改,要考试了!What is the greatest invention of the 20 Century?There is no doubt,the computer is one of the greatest invention of the 20 Century.It is reported,in China,the use of computer people increased by 513000000.We can see
英语作文求批改,要考试了!
What is the greatest invention of the 20 Century?There is no doubt,the computer is one of the greatest invention of the 20 Century.
It is reported,in China,the use of computer people increased by 513000000.We can see,computers are now being used everywhere,whether in the government,schools and enterprises.What does this prove?Proof,the computer has spread to most families.We have good reason to say that computer plays an important role in our life,we have stepped into the computer age.
Computer does us a lot of good.For example,we can calculate,make notes,call others and type letters.And we can learn English or play games with it.To our surprised,the computer can also be used as a supermarket,we can buy anything if we want in it.
Although the computer has brought us many benefits,everything has two sides.The computer is also bad for us.If we use the computer too long time,it can cause many illness,such as myopia,headache,and so on...And the use of computers will take us a lot of time.
In general,it can be said that computer is a useful machine,if we use it exactly.
作文求批改,改的要好,删减得少一些,要精华,加一些从句,增加文章连贯性

英语作文求批改,要考试了!What is the greatest invention of the 20 Century?There is no doubt,the computer is one of the greatest invention of the 20 Century.It is reported,in China,the use of computer people increased by 513000000.We can see
What is the greatest invention of the 20(th) Century? There is no doubt, the computer is one of the greatest invention of the 20(th) Century. It is reported (去掉逗号,换上that) in China, the use of
computer people increased by 513000000.We can see (要加that) computers are now being used everywhere, whether in
the government, schools and enterprises. What does this prove? (Proof,要改为 It has proved that) the computer has spread to most families. We have good reason(s) to say that computer plays an important role in our life (lives), we have stepped into the
computer age.
Computer does us a lot of good. For example, we can calculate, make notes, call others and type letters. And we can learn English or play games with it. To our surprised (surprises), the computer can also be used as a supermarket, (through it) we can buy anything (if we want
in it 简缩为 we want).
Although the computer has brought us many benefits, (要加but)everything has two sides. The computer is also bad for us. If we use (the computer避免重复,应改为 it) (要加for) too long (去掉time), it can cause many illness, such as myopia (and 要放在这儿) headache (and so on 要改为 etc 因为前面已说了illness)...And the use of computers will take us a lot of time.
In general, it can be said that computer is a useful machine, if we use it (exactly 应该用 wisely).


有甚多处错漏,但已替你更正了.