这两句英语有没有问题?如果有的话请帮忙修改.1.Self-esteem,which is like a catalyst,can accelerate my progress in study and make me do better than others at work.2.,I do and I will be patient and share my knowledge with my mates at s

这两句英语有没有问题?如果有的话请帮忙修改.1.Self-esteem,which is like a catalyst,can accelerate my progress in study and make me do better than others at work.2.,I do and I will be patient and share my knowledge with my mates at s
这两句英语有没有问题?
如果有的话请帮忙修改
.1.Self-esteem,which is like a catalyst,can accelerate my progress in study and make me do better than others at work.
2.,I do and I will be patient and share my knowledge with my mates at school and at work.

这两句英语有没有问题?如果有的话请帮忙修改.1.Self-esteem,which is like a catalyst,can accelerate my progress in study and make me do better than others at work.2.,I do and I will be patient and share my knowledge with my mates at s
for the 1st sentence,
1.i don't really think "accelerate your progress" makes too much sense although i got what you were trying to say.i think it is just a little not that logical to put them together.
2."make you do better than others" sounds like so long as you are with self-esteem,you will succeed better than others,which you can't even tell.and also it sounds lots of all unnecessary competitions.you don't really wanna be like showing off you are better than all other students eventually.
do you think if it'll be better if you say:self-esteem is a catalyst,which can help me make progresses faster in studying.or accelerate my paces to succeed in studying.
for the second,
1.it's a run-on.the sentence structure is not clear.no punctuations from one independent clause to another.
2.i can barely understand what you meant by "i do".as much as i've interpreted,you probably were saying "i do will be patient."
3.there are no relationships between these two sentence."be patient" has nothing to do with "share knowledge".i would suggest you not to generate these two different ideas into one sentence to make it fancier.it's not working.
you are patient.you would like to share.and you will be holding on these qualities and attitudes at school and the future work careers.

which likes a catalyst