帮忙看一篇英语作文有无语法错误并指出I have a great dream .i want to be an astronaut when i grow up .i am surprised at univers .it is very beautifui and intretsting .i liked the univers very much .i know something about it i know the

帮忙看一篇英语作文有无语法错误并指出I have a great dream .i want to be an astronaut when i grow up .i am surprised at univers .it is very beautifui and intretsting .i liked the univers very much .i know something about it i know the
帮忙看一篇英语作文有无语法错误并指出
I have a great dream .i want to be an astronaut when i grow up .i am surprised at univers .it is very beautifui and intretsting .i liked the univers very much .i know something about it i know there is a solar system .i amired yangliwei and other astronauts n.they are very great and cool .so i will study hard .i hope my dream will come true .i belive in myself .i can achieve my dream

帮忙看一篇英语作文有无语法错误并指出I have a great dream .i want to be an astronaut when i grow up .i am surprised at univers .it is very beautifui and intretsting .i liked the univers very much .i know something about it i know the
供参考
I have a great dream .I (i) want to be an astronaut when I (i)
grow up .I (i) am fascinated with the (surprised at) universe (univers)
.It (it) is very beautiful (beautifui) and interesting (intretsting) .
I (i) like (liked) the universe (univers) very much.I (i) know something
about it.I (i) know there is a solar system(1) .I (i) admire (amired)
Yang Li Wei (yangliwei) and other astronauts.They (they) are very great
and cool .S0 (so) i will study hard.I (i) hope my dream will come
true.I believe (i belive) in myself(2) .I (i) can achieve my dream.\x14
(1) solar system似乎不止一个
可以考虑用 some/many solar systems
(2) 可以用have confidence 来代替believe

首先，第一人称的书写无论何时都应该是大写。其次，全文时态不统一，应该统一用一般现在时表述，即要把动词过去式改成一般现在时。great前不能再用very修饰了，最后一句在myself和I之间加一个that构成一个宾语从句，这样才比较通顺~

i know something about it i know there is a solar system 这句中的第二个I know 改成such as更好些。

.i amired yangliwei and other astronauts n
最后来个n干什么？

1.此份文章过多的以I开头。
2.短句过多，如果是一篇文章的话，给人感觉不连贯，文章的衔接性不严谨，可考虑使用从句使文章紧凑。
3.部分单词，大小写、语法错误。
4.部分修改可以首尾照应。
I have a great dream that I can become an astronaut when grow up . I am fascinated w...

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1.此份文章过多的以I开头。
2.短句过多，如果是一篇文章的话，给人感觉不连贯，文章的衔接性不严谨，可考虑使用从句使文章紧凑。
3.部分单词，大小写、语法错误。
4.部分修改可以首尾照应。
I have a great dream that I can become an astronaut when grow up . I am fascinated with the universe which is very beautiful and interesting . I like the universe very much and know something about it. for example, there are some solar systems.
I admire Yang Liwei and other astronauts who are very great and cool . I will study hard and I believe my dream will come true.I have confidence in my great dream.

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第二行 beautiful拼写错误
第二行 liked 改为like，全文都是现在时。
第三行开头it后面记得加句号。
第三行 admired改为appreciate更好。admire为赞扬，后面的是欣赏。记得都是现在时。
还有每个universe都拼错了。记得改过来。
记得每句话都开头都大写。...

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第二行 beautiful拼写错误
第二行 liked 改为like，全文都是现在时。
第三行开头it后面记得加句号。
第三行 admired改为appreciate更好。admire为赞扬，后面的是欣赏。记得都是现在时。
还有每个universe都拼错了。记得改过来。
记得每句话都开头都大写。

收起