英语翻译我急要一个有趣和幽默的英语故事,还要极短,(包英语翻译)

英语翻译我急要一个有趣和幽默的英语故事,还要极短,(包英语翻译)
英语翻译
我急要一个有趣和幽默的英语故事,还要极短,(包英语翻译)

英语翻译我急要一个有趣和幽默的英语故事,还要极短,(包英语翻译)
I taught teacher
Mother asked her little boy,"Darling,what did the teacher teach you today?"
"Nothing,Mum," answered the son proundly,"instead,she asked me how much one plus two was,and I told her three."
我教老师
妈妈问他的儿子：“亲爱的,今天老师教你什么了啊?”
儿子自豪的回答道：“什么也没有教我,妈妈.反而是我教她了.他问我1+2等于多少.我告诉她说,等于三.

One day, a little monkey is playing by the well.
He looks in the well and shouts:
“Oh! My god! The moon has fallen into the well!”
An older monkey runs over, takes a look, and says,

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One day, a little monkey is playing by the well.
He looks in the well and shouts:
“Oh! My god! The moon has fallen into the well!”
An older monkey runs over, takes a look, and says,
“Goodness me! The moon is really in the water!”
And elderly monkey comes over.
He is very surprised as well and cries out:
“The moon is in the well.”
A group of monkeys run over to the well.
They look at the moon in the well and shout:
“The moon did fall into the well! Come on! Let’s get it out!”
Then, the oldest monkey hangs on the tree upside down, with his feet on the branch.
And he pulls the next monkey’s feet with his hands.
All the other monkeys follow his suit,
And they join each other one by one down to the moon in the well.
Just before they reach the moon, the oldest monkey raises his head and happens to see the moon in the sky,
He yells excitedly “Don’t be so foolish!
The moon is still in the sky!”

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A long time ago, a queen, in the charming beauty of winter gave birth to a beautiful daughter, named "Snow White." But soon after the death of King, the King took a beautiful woman, very proud, the pe...

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A long time ago, a queen, in the charming beauty of winter gave birth to a beautiful daughter, named "Snow White." But soon after the death of King, the King took a beautiful woman, very proud, the people will be jealous, she does not like other people say beautiful woman than her. She has side Mirror, and she always ask is the most beautiful woman in the mirror, she always said. But one day, a mirror that Snow White, a thousand times more than her beauty, she more and more disgusted with his daughter, put her to let hunters kill the forests, but also get to show that lung and liver, but the hunters sympathy for her, put her to let go, and take deer of the lung and liver are posing as the queen had taken. Snow White in the forest recognize the Seven Dwarfs, but shortly after the Queen know that she is still alive, they try to frame her and win the last queen, and she was satisfied. But before long, a Prince to save the Snow White, and held a wedding, the queen, she died.
"Snow White" in the story of the evil queen in Snow White because of jealousy, try the calculations, she has finally received its own retribution. From the story we can see, it is because of the queen's jealousy, she created a very cruel and ruthless consequences, which can be seen in different people.
In real life, exchanges between people is also true; When you find a job when you because of the excellent grade, was valued by their superiors, a step by step to upgrade you, but someone has to remind her: "One day she would you get the position. "beware of your more and more serious, and when you compete for the same
A location, at the back played all means, use all available means to defeat you, but in the end failed him often. This proves that God is fair to the people, you do it to heart will always belong to you; Forever exhausted the means to do to leave you, life is like this! "Good有好报; villain has恶报." Intention to treat each of you a person or thing, you get the get; with the means to treat every person or every thing, you deserve to be punished. Bid farewell to the past, the future calls.
很久以前的一位王后，在美丽迷人的冬天生下一位美丽的女儿，取名“白雪公主”。但不久王后便去世，国王取了一位美丽的女人，很骄傲，专会妒忌人家，她不喜欢旁人说比她漂亮的女人。她有一面魔镜，她经常问谁是全国最美的女人，镜子总是说她。但有一天，镜子却说白雪公主比她美丽一千倍，因此，她越来越讨厌自己的女儿，就让猎人把她带到森林里杀了，还要拿肺和肝来证明，但猎人同情她，把她给放走了，拿小鹿的肺和肝却冒充，王后上当了。白雪公主在森林中认识了七个小矮人，但不久后王后知道她还活着，便想方设法地陷害她，最后王后胜利了，她很满意。但不久之后，一位王子救活了白雪公主，并举行了婚礼，王后她死了。
《白雪公主》中讲述了恶王后因妒忌白雪公主，想方设法的算计她，最终自己却得到了报应。从故事中我们可以看出，正是由于王后的妒忌，心狠手辣造成了她的后果，由此可看出人心的不同。
现实生活中，人与人之间的交往也是如此;当你找到一份工作时，由于你的出色成绩，被上司所看重，一步步地提升你，但有人却提醒她:“有一天她会抢了你的位置。”对你的提防越来越严重，当和你争夺同一
个位置时，在背后耍尽手段，用一切可以利用的手段击垮你，但最后失败的往往是他。这证明，老天对人很公平，你用心去做地永远属于你;用尽手段做地永远离开你，人生就是这个样子!“好人有好报;恶人有恶报。”你用心去对待每一个人或每一件事，得到你该得到的;用手段对待每一个人或每一件事，得到你该得的报应。告别过去，召唤未来。
累呀

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Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着"学校----慢行".

He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一...

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He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
-- 墓地守墓人。
They are directly from America
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
My little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员，
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

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