帮我修改一篇文章…谢谢请 感激不尽.请尽量赐教Today is an appropriate day to go to the beach,so Jason and Paul decided to go to the beach to play,when they arrived at the beach,there already very many people.Some people bought thin

帮我修改一篇文章…谢谢请 感激不尽.请尽量赐教Today is an appropriate day to go to the beach,so Jason and Paul decided to go to the beach to play,when they arrived at the beach,there already very many people.Some people bought thin
帮我修改一篇文章…谢谢
请 感激不尽.请尽量赐教
Today is an appropriate day to go to the beach,so Jason and Paul decided to go to the beach to play,when they arrived at the beach,there already very many people.Some people bought things at the snack bar; some people played the water in the seashore.Jason and Paul in the sea water after playing for a while.Jason proposed to hire a small boat to sea.Paul agreed to consider,so they went to hire a small boat.
The boss told them:"today is not suitable goes to sea.” Jason asked:“why?” The boss replied:“there are the shark appeared today.Therefore today should better not go to sea”.Jason and Paul were very disappointed,but they didn’t give up this idea.They continued to beg the boss.Finally the boss hired the ship to them and advised them:"Do not go to far places." They rented a boat on the sea; they paddled their boat cheerfully and forgot about the boss’ exhortation completely.
Suddenly,Paul shouted:” Here the shark came!We ran away quickly!” The shark approached them.So they paddled their boat strenuously.At last,fortunately,they draw back to the shore,but they were still afraid,after a while,they then went home.

帮我修改一篇文章…谢谢请 感激不尽.请尽量赐教Today is an appropriate day to go to the beach,so Jason and Paul decided to go to the beach to play,when they arrived at the beach,there already very many people.Some people bought thin
感觉开头总是说到beach,有点重复.
可以把decided to go to the beach to play改成decided to go there and play.
when they arrived at the beach改成when they arrived
Jason proposed to hire a small boat to sea.Paul agreed to consider,so they went to hire a small boat.这句有点问题,改成Jason proposed to hire a small boat and go to the sea.Paul agreed with him,so they went to a shop which have boats for hire.
there are the shark appeared today.Therefore today should better not go to sea改成there was a shark appeared today,it is dangerous to go to sea
They continued to beg the boss这句可以不要,感觉太中文化了
Do not go to far places改成don't go too far
Here the shark came!We ran away quickly改成A shark is coming!We have to run quickly!
they then went home改成they went back home