帮忙看一篇英语作文,有没有语法错误About 50 years ago,four black teens sat down at a restaurant in Greensboro to ask more than the coffee and dounts the waitress refused to serve them.They did this in order to protest the unfair treatme

帮忙看一篇英语作文,有没有语法错误About 50 years ago,four black teens sat down at a restaurant in Greensboro to ask more than the coffee and dounts the waitress refused to serve them.They did this in order to protest the unfair treatme
帮忙看一篇英语作文,有没有语法错误
About 50 years ago,four black teens sat down at a restaurant in Greensboro to ask more than the coffee and dounts the waitress refused to serve them.They did this in order to protest the unfair treatments of blacks at that restaurant and many others places in the United States.In the next six months,they went to the restaurant with their supporters everyday.Everything pay will get return,these students were finally served.
Just 7 years before 1960,a Supereme Court decided to make school segregation of white and black students illegal.And in many parts of the world,blacks couldn't get the same rights as the white could.Like Martin Luther King,the Greensboro teens wanted to change the present situation through peaceful protest.Within two mounths,sit-ins were occurring in nine states and more and more people came to get involved.Eventually,in1964,the law gives equal rights to balck Americans in employment,voting and the use of public facilities.
In recent days,the famous seats and counter where the Greensboro Four first seat became a place for visitors to visit.As Assistant Attorney General Thomas said,"We need this civil rights museum so that we remember our history."
有没有改的地方或者有更好的写法,希望能够个别句子缩减删除,

帮忙看一篇英语作文,有没有语法错误About 50 years ago,four black teens sat down at a restaurant in Greensboro to ask more than the coffee and dounts the waitress refused to serve them.They did this in order to protest the unfair treatme
第一句就有点错误,什么叫to ask more than the coffee and dounts 然后问题还有很多.用词有很多不太准确的地方或用的不好的地方（不标准或不书面）,写文章不能只用get,can,do这些词的,首先这些太口语,其次频率使用的太高了（不是说不能用,而是尽量少用）.关联词也没有,说句实话,我有点看不懂这篇文章,你是想讲种族歧视吧?
上述都是建议,说得有些直,希望不要生气^_^
如果能给我中文,我可以帮你写写看

我通读了一遍，基本没有什么大的问题，
只是有些小的地方与要改一下！
第二段：“Just 7 years before 1960”您想要说什么，是不是说“Before the 1960s in seven years” 再说了1960 的后面要加s 才行，才可以表示20世纪60年代的嘛！其他的我没看出来！
可我不明白的是，你为什么要写这样一篇文章，论点是什么，我不太理解哈！如...

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我通读了一遍，基本没有什么大的问题，
只是有些小的地方与要改一下！
第二段：“Just 7 years before 1960”您想要说什么，是不是说“Before the 1960s in seven years” 再说了1960 的后面要加s 才行，才可以表示20世纪60年代的嘛！其他的我没看出来！
可我不明白的是，你为什么要写这样一篇文章，论点是什么，我不太理解哈！如果我判断不错的话，您应该是大三大四的水平对吧！
不管如何，祝你成功！

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楼主，你好，这是我的看法，希望楼主可以采纳到哈。
我觉得第一句有coffee and dounts点累赘，念起来有点奇怪，可以改成：It was 50 years ago that four black teens had a restaurant in Greensboro. They asked more, however, the waitress refused.
我觉得...

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楼主，你好，这是我的看法，希望楼主可以采纳到哈。
我觉得第一句有coffee and dounts点累赘，念起来有点奇怪，可以改成：It was 50 years ago that four black teens had a restaurant in Greensboro. They asked more, however, the waitress refused.
我觉得在 many others places in the United States前可以加上 also
in the next 6 months 的in 可以改成 during。
时态统一 everything will pay 把will 改成would。
illegal应该改成legal
And in many parts of the world的And 可以改成Actually。
,in1964,the law gives 的gives 应改成gave
balck Americans 最好改成Afrian Americans
where the Greensboro Four first seat 改成were in the Greensboro
visitors to visit 不是很好，因为两个词很近，词根都是visit 可以直接把visitor改成people

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