圣诞节英语搞笑短剧剧本我明天上课时要表演节目,知道的进,乱说的一边凉快去.

圣诞节英语搞笑短剧剧本我明天上课时要表演节目,知道的进,乱说的一边凉快去.
圣诞节英语搞笑短剧剧本
我明天上课时要表演节目,知道的进,乱说的一边凉快去.

圣诞节英语搞笑短剧剧本我明天上课时要表演节目,知道的进,乱说的一边凉快去.
Aside: Once upon a time, a beautiful princess named Snow White. We referred to as her white. But! In the near future, the queen is dead, the king married a new queen, is the new queen of drowning fish, birds killed, more than indescribably beautiful!
Queen game, holding a lady-in-waiting behind 2 brand, brand, "Beautiful Invincible"
After: a woman so good! I am the world's most beautiful woman, you say, right?
Lady-in-waiting: yes! Earth know! Do not believe it, you ask mirror on the wall!
After: Mirror mirror on the wall! Who is the world's most beautiful woman?
Mirror: ... that ... before the most beautiful queen you are wrong you, but more than a decade, and indeed some Shenmeipilao now to the world's most beautiful man is - white! She also on the latest issue of the Flower The son does the cover!
After: I say no wonder that fewer and fewer of the recent paparazzi! Her she was her she was her! I kill her! (Meditation, refers to the ring) waiter!
Killer (wearing a mirror on the wall, toothpicks Diao, rickety, rub the new queen) Why Why?
After: the image of the attention! I have a serious matter and you want to talk about
Killer: "What '
After: Snow White, what's that called you to help me kill her!
Killer (money than the position): ...
After: 2,000,000! Enough
Killer (spit toothpicks) 2,000,000? Will not do not! Too few! Plus point!
After the (killer arrived fist holding his chin): 2,010,000, the line! Or not!
Killer: closing!
After: Ha, ha, ha ha ha (end)
Killer turn their backs to the audience in clothes loaded things
Turned
I Shuai is the legendary killer of the dead shark!
Princess: In a dark night of the toes, he he he he grasped my left hand. Then, he he he he he grasped my right hand, then we jump up a dance, I have to be from his Mei Nanji into being
Aside: all of a sudden! His face changed, from the arms out (gadgets out) out! (Gadgets out) took out a knife!
Princess while doing back-girls
"Do not scare you at home, people are you girls!"
Killer bow, sighing, turning, hair strand: wrong, wrong, wrong! Hey, I always Xintai Ruan, Xintai Ruan, all have their own problems Tam! You go! I do not kill you
Aside: Princess ah fled away and escaped to a small forest! Met her fate in the 7 men!
(7 Dwarfs along with the music of Swan Lake ballet dancing game)
Dwarfs 1: Who are you!
Dwarfs 2: how do you here?
Dwarfs 3: eat our rice
Dwarfs 4: wear our clothes
Dwarfs 5: sleeping in our bed?
Dwarfs 6: to bring you the cash
7 Dwarfs together: here, but we do not use their credit cards to the yo!
White: I! Is the legendary beautiful and lovely, lively, smart, loves everyone, see flowers bloom, the car tire of the car see Snow White! Though, alas, utterly devoid of conscience, I want to drive people out of the Queen! Sent killer To kill me, and thanks to a crucial moment, I performed like a honey trap, was able to escape! Hey, my prince ah, why can not you hurry up to do!
Since then, the 7 Dwarfs of Snow White took a day, dwarves dig out gold on the Snow White at home to do housework, this day, people have to go out of small dwarf, Before I left, they gave snow Princess a couplet.
Alliance on: domestic violence to resist!
Xia Lian: Call of the community of love!
Hengpi: Do not talk to strangers!
White: hey, really difficult to do housework ah! From morning till now more than 3 hours, and I did not even have a table Cawan! Hey
Queen from the mirror on the wall that there has been no dead white, fly into a rage, ready to participate personally!
After the (door); room was right!
White (to himself): Oh, must be engaged in the marketing! Dwarves can not let people come in to sell out! (Shouting) you are selling out of it
After: Yes, ah
White: That person is no room!
After: I have nothing to do with the marketing, I recommend some good things in particular the Special!
Aside: it is not engaged in the marketing ... ...
White: Oh! Have nothing to do with the marketing ah! Come in, do not lock the door!
After (to himself) I knock on the door unlocked for a long time nothing!
After the (smiling): beautiful girl, I have been here for the beautiful things you have prepared Oh!
White: a small umbrella with it?
Pass after a small umbrella
White: I brought you! Yes! Ah! Yes! (Back)
After: how it has not
White (see shrug days) did it rain!
After: In that case, what you have to walnut?
White; do you have carrots
After: What I said was, you have to do walnut?
White (Sha Sha's) do you have carrots
After the (loud) I said yes, you have to, nuclear, peach, it?
White (to increase the volume): Oh! Yes walnut! (Sha Sha return to the expression) you have a carrot it?
After the princess will take a small umbrella in the Dayun chair, pick up the walnuts, in all seriousness of the audience: the walnut is toxic Oh!
Mouth to feed into the white, left the Queen
Small dwarf people to go home
Dwarfs 1: Pig! Do not sleep! Up soon to work!
2 dwarves with white hand-breath test, like an idiot: she is dead, al -
Small dwarf people to repeat them finished, "she died in Jerusalem"
Took out his pocket tissues, weeping, while throwing tear while shouting: she is dead, al ~ ~!
At this point, the Prince of neighboring countries to come here to hunt
Prince under the sheets when a small plane cloak-like game, ran twice in the next to Princess Margaret came to a halt.
Prince: Who is this!
Dwarf small people: As a matter of fact, this is a beauty!
Prince look carefully: I kao! This is also called beauty!
Aside: After the poisoning of the white beyond recognition
Prince Princess flat: an insult to my eyes!
Princess spit walnut, wake up, get up, look around: Who hit me! Who! Who!
See Prince
White: wow! Ge Ye Shuai!
Prince (back) are you going to do you, you
White (men loaded mature voice): beautiful! Too beautiful!
Prince: Princess! You long as it is the unrestrained, as the tragic, as people forget to look over (the tragic tone)
White: Do not you say so, others just a little small but beautiful you, Ha ha.
Prince (referring to days); why! Why do I have to accept such a fate!
White: Prince!Do not worry! We do not like the Butterfly Lovers and so sad!
Prince: Oh! Why! Why do I have to accept such a fate! (Run office sight)
White: We have not married Prince you can not go!
Narration: Since then, White began a pursuit of Prince, but according to official historical records, and since then they have on the well-being and happiness of life!
Ultimately the whole
旁白：很久很久以前,有一个国家,国家里有一位可爱的公主,我们都叫她白雪公主,她过着无忧无虑的生活,我们以后简称她叫小白.可是,王后死了（电闪雷鸣声）,国王又取了一个新王后,新王后长的是淹死鱼,摔死鸟,别提多beautiful了
（王后上,身后两个宫女,王后手拿一张白纸,纸上有beautiful.）魔镜立在场边.
王后：做女人挺好,我是世界上最美的女人,（转头问身后的两个宫女）你们说是吗?
宫女1：这还用说,地球人都知道.
宫女2：不信,您问镜子.
王后走向,手指镜子）魔镜,魔镜,告诉我,世上女人谁最美?（做搔手弄姿装）（音乐起,
王后自己在场上用模特步走来走去.）快节奏音乐响
后:快说
魔镜：那个~从前最美丽的人是王后您没错啦,可是,10多年了,确实有点审美疲劳,现在世界上最美丽的那个人是-小白!她还上了最近一期花花公子的封面呢!听说现在有好多杂志请她拍封面呢!
后：难怪现在狗仔队越来越少了!原来是她!她她她她她她!我要杀了她!（沉思,响指）：waiter!
杀手：（墨镜,叼牙签,摇摇晃晃上,蹭新王后）干吗干吗
王后：跟你说正经事,有个叫白雪什么公主的,去帮我宰了她
杀手:(比money手势）这个~
王后：两百万!怎么样
杀手：（吐牙签）200万?不行不行 太少了!再加点
王后:201万!行,还是不行!
杀手：（无比黑线）成交
杀手转过去蹲下身来往衣服里装东西
转过来
杀手：我就是人称玉面假飞龙的杀手killer! POSE
白雪公主：在一个伸手不见脚趾的夜晚 ……省略
他说要带我去武大看樱花（二人摆革命姿势）
忽然
杀手脸色一变
从怀里一掏……
掏出一个小玩意= =
掏
又掏出一个小玩意
再掏
掏出了一把刀
（killer拿住刀,架公主脖子上.公主边退边做女生状）
白雪公主：不要吓人家啦啦 人家是女生诶
killer：（低头,叹气,忽然转身,手缕头发,pose）错错错,春如旧,人空瘦,泪痕红浥鲛绡透,都说自古红颜多薄命,但是我这个英雄跟是难过美人关啊!（唱：我总是心太软 心太软,把所有问题都自己扛!）你走吧,我不杀你
于是公主逃到了森林里……………… 遇到了她宿命中的7个男人
7个小矮人跳着芭蕾上场
小矮人1：你是谁?
小矮人2：你怎么在这里?
小矮人3：吃我们的饭?
小矮人4；穿我们的衣?
小矮人5：睡我们的床?
小矮人6：带现金了吗?
7个小矮人一起：我们这里不可以刷卡的哟!
小白:我纯洁善良美丽可爱人见人爱花见花开车见车爆胎的白雪公主!只可惜那丧尽天良的王后竟然要追杀我,幸亏我在关键时候施展美人计,才得以逃脱!哎,我的王子啊!你为什么就不能快点来呢!
事实是这样,请你们收留我吧
就这样,7个小矮人收留了小白,每天小矮人出去挖金子,小白就在家里做家务.今天,矮人们又要出去了,临走前,他们送给公主一副对联
上联：抵制家庭暴力
下联：呼唤社会爱心
横批：不要和陌生人说话!
公主做家务（音乐嘻唰唰）
小白:哎,做家务真辛苦啊!从早上到现在都3个多钟头了,我连一张桌子都没有擦完!哎!
此时王后知道小白没死,暴跳如雷,决定亲自上阵
后：屋子里有人吗?
小白（自言自语）咦!一定是搞推销的!小矮人说不能放搞推销的人进来!（大喊）别敲了!屋子里没人!
后；我不是来搞推销的,我是来推荐几种特别特别好的东西的
旁白：还不是搞推销的!~
小白:不是搞推销的啊!请进!门没锁!
后（自言自语）：门没锁那我敲了半天算什么~
美丽的小姑娘,我们这儿的一切都是为了美丽的你锁准备的噢!
小白：带小雨伞了吗
后;带了 递过
小白（仔细端详）嗯,不错!不错!（还回）
后：怎么不要了》
小白：没下雨呀!
后；那么~你要核桃吗?
小白：你有胡萝卜吗
后:你要核桃吗
小白（痴呆状）你有胡萝卜吗?
后（大声）：我说的是,你,要,核,桃,吗?
小白（声音提起）：噢!核桃啊!（回复白痴状)你有胡萝卜吗?
王后用小雨伞将小白击倒在椅子上
掏出核桃,面对观众一本正经的说:这个核桃是有毒的噢!
然后喂进小白嘴里
撑开雨伞,旋转下台,跳着唱着；你是痛苦的,噢~~我是快乐的,噢~
小矮人回家
小矮人1；猪,别睡了!该干活了!
小矮人2试小白鼻息,白痴状：她死了耶……
小矮人一一重复
最后一个说完后
从口袋里掏出面巾纸,边撕边哭边扔,还一边喊：她死了也~~呜呜
这时,邻国的王子来这里打猎…
王子披床单当斗篷做小飞机状绕场跑2周,指着公主：这是谁啊?
小矮人：其实,这是一美女!
王子仔细端详：我KAO!这样也叫美女!
旁白：中毒后的小白已经面目全非
王子扁公主
公主吐核桃,醒.站起身：谁打我!谁!谁!
转头看见王子,做花痴状:哇!帅哥诶!
王子惊慌状往后退:你你你要干吗
小白抓住王子的手,学成熟男人声：漂亮!太漂亮了!
王子：公主!你长的是那么奔放!那样的令人过目难忘!那样的……(悲壮)
小白:呵,不要这么说啦,人家只是有点小漂亮而已啦!
王子指天:为什么!为什么我要接受这样的命运!
小白；王子你放心,我们不会像梁山伯和祝英台那样悲惨的!
王子慢慢解下公主的手,公主却越抓越紧
王子逃脱:公主!下辈子我还会记住你的!
小白追赶王子：王子!我们还没有结婚!你不能就这么走了!（追下台）
旁白：从此,小白开始了对王子的追捕,但是据官方史料记载,他们从今以后过上了幸福快乐的生活
全剧终

给你个大话西游的英文剧本吧~保证搞笑~
Big words of western tour （大话西游）
Chapter 1
Site：The wedding
Characters:牛魔王 、至尊宝、紫霞、小妖
Aside: The story begins with a wedding. The Bull King is going to have a c...

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给你个大话西游的英文剧本吧~保证搞笑~
Big words of western tour （大话西游）
Chapter 1
Site：The wedding
Characters:牛魔王 、至尊宝、紫霞、小妖
Aside: The story begins with a wedding. The Bull King is going to have a concubine.
牛：Today is my wedding. I am going to have a concubine. Ha ha ha …….
妖：Concubine? Dose your wife agree to it?
牛：Oh! She is not lovely anymore. She’s right now at the Flame Mountain. She can do nothing about it!
(至尊宝从后台走入人群中)
牛：Let me introduce my brother to you! My bro!
Come here! This is my brother.
(牛深情地转向紫霞)
牛：Zixia, listen to me. I think I ‘ve fallen in love with you once I know you. I want to show my sincerity. So I request you to marry me in front of my bros. This Pandora’s Box is my gift to you. I hope you would say yes.
妖：I object!
牛：What?
妖：Zixia has a means to test her lover. If you can pass it, I will shout up!
至：What’s this? Really?
妖：This test is that she would marry the guy who can make her Magic Sword go out of the scabbard.
(剑从至的怀中落下)
妖：Magic Sword?
牛：Let me do this!
(紫跑出，拾剑)
紫：It’s not true! It’s just a joke. It is still meaningless even if you can put it out!
(紫跑下)
妖：King, Iron Fan Princess has come.
牛：Aaa……
(牛惊慌地跑下)
Aside: The monkey king leaves the front hall, running to back garden……

Chapter 2
Site: Bull King’s back garden
Characters: 至尊宝、紫霞
（至跑过来，突然看到紫独自坐在台阶上，于是走过来）
至：Why are you hiding here?
(紫抽剑，指向至。两人定格，至走出来，独白)
至：At this time, the blade is really close to me, 0.01 cm I think. But after a short period of time, 0.01 second I think, the owner of the sword will fall for me whole-heartedly. Because I’ve decided to tell lies, I’ve told many lies in my life, but I think it is the most wonderful lie!
紫：I’ll kill you if you come closer!
至：You should kill me! Kill me! I’d found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. I left regretful after that. It’s the ultimate pain in the world. Just cut my throat, please don’t hesitate! If God can give me a chance, I will tell her there words. “I love you”. If God wants to give a time limit, I’ll say this love will last 10 thousand years!
（紫长叹，抛剑，拾剑，抱剑）
紫：What can you tell your wife?
至：I have to tell her the truth. So I must get the Pandora’s Box back. Then go back with you and explain everything. But I hate myself that I can’t get the box back. I ……
紫：I help you!
至：No, it’s dangerous!
紫：You don’t want to?
至：I do! But ……
紫：I trust you! I’ll get the Pandora’s Box back tonight. Wait for me here at midnight.
(猪喊)
至：Let me do something to my boss first. See you tonight.
（依依不舍）
Aside: The night ……

Chapter 3
Site: Dungeon
Characters: 至尊宝、猪八戒、沙僧、唐僧
猪和沙：Master, master
(两人同时悄声说)
猪：We come to save you.
沙：We come to bring you out.
唐：I won’t go.
猪和沙：Stay here? Why?
唐：There’re full of obstacles in the way of getting scriptures. This is because we’re not united enough. So we let the devils do bad to us. That’s fine. This prison has no difference with the outside world, to me; the outside world is just a bigger prison. You go out first. I have something to tell him.
(猪和沙下)
唐：You come in and have a sit!
至：To be honest, I’m not your disciple. I don’t want to be your disciple. Master I know you’re a good guy. Please let me go!
唐：Do you know “dong , dong, dong ……”?
至：What is “dong, dong, dong”?
唐：“dong, dong, dong ……” is ……
(唐唱Only you)
至：Stop. Stop. I can’t take this anymore, please stop ……
唐：Ohoh ……
至：Damn you, you … I’ve said I can’t take this anymore. Don’t disturb or I’ll kill you.
唐： Monkey King, you can kill me. Life and death are very minor. When you know why you should make sacrifices, you will come back and sing this song with me. Namonitabhaya …
(至跑走)
Aside: The Monkey King succeeds in escaping form the Bull King, and he reaches the Spiders’ Cave with the Grapes. Unfortunately, the Monkey King and his friends meet the Queen of Spider.
The Monkey have heard that if the blade slashed fast and accurately, the guy who’s cut open won’t die at once. He can still see. So he asks the Queen of the Spider to kill him as fast as she could and to tear his heart out and let him have a look.
After the Monkey King’s death, he appears in the Hole of Waterfall …

Chapter 4
Site: The Hole of Waterfall
Characters: 至尊宝、观音
至：Goddess. I’m about to understand your words. I used my eyes to see in the past. What I was dying. I started using my heart to see this world. Then I could see all things clearly. That girl …has left a drop of tear in my heart. I felt her sorrow.
观：Have you given up all things in human world?
至：Yes! Life and death is just minor! …… But I don’t understand why can human’s hatred last 10 years, 50 years, and even 500 years. What hatred is it?
观：So that Tang Monk went to the west and got scriptures, which clean out hearts.
至：OK, I want to stay here, there are many things waiting for me to do.
观：I want to warn you again. After wearing the gold ring, you’re no longer a normal human. You can’t have human desires anymore. If you do so, the gold ring will get smaller and smaller. It’s very uncomfortable.
至：OK.
观：Before wearing the ring, what do you want to say?
至：I had had found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. When I lost her, I regret. It’s the most pain in the world. If God can give me another chance, I will say there words to her “I love you”! If there is a time limit, I hope, it is 10 thousand years!

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《白雪公主》英语话剧剧本
这几天学校要搞什么英语口语交际比赛(个人感觉:无聊!特别无聊)希望这些英语经典话剧给你们有帮助
还要别的话,给我留个言,我帮忙找哈
SW-白雪公主 Q-皇后 M-魔镜 H-猎人P-白马王子 D-小矮人 音乐起，旁白
A long time ago, In a beautiful kingdom, there lived a ...

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《白雪公主》英语话剧剧本
这几天学校要搞什么英语口语交际比赛(个人感觉:无聊!特别无聊)希望这些英语经典话剧给你们有帮助
还要别的话,给我留个言,我帮忙找哈
SW-白雪公主 Q-皇后 M-魔镜 H-猎人P-白马王子 D-小矮人 音乐起，旁白
A long time ago, In a beautiful kingdom, there lived a young king and queen, the people loved them so much; the queen died while giving birth to a girl, her name was Snow White, She was a beautiful princess. Year passed, the king got married again, The people didn’t love the new queen, because she was cruel. One day, In the king’s palace: ----白雪出场
S.w: My name is Snow white , I am a beautiful princess, I miss my mother so much, Where is my mother ? Where is my mother ?
音乐起，皇后、魔镜出场
Q: I am a queen , I’m very beautiful , Where is Mirror ? Mirror , Mirror on the wall , who’s the most beautiful ?
M: Snow white is much more beautiful than you !
Q: Hunter, go kill Snow white .
猎 人 出 场
H: Yes, my queen
音乐起，猎人追赶白雪，公主惊慌出逃
S.w: Help me ,help me, please, please !
白雪顺利脱逃后
S.w: I am tried and hungry, oh, there is a little house , I will eat a little and lie down.
音乐起，7个小矮人出场，
D: 1\Look, somebody ate my food----
2\Somebody drank my water----
3\Someone is sleeping now----
4\What a beautiful girl!----
小矮人睡觉----音乐起公主先醒了----小矮人醒了----对话
5\How do you do?
S.w: How do you do? My name is Snow white … Nice to meet you!
D:（齐说）Nice to meet you ,too----
6\ welcome to our house!----
7\Would you like to live here?
S.W: My pleasure, thank you very much!
D: Let’s go out for our work, bye-bye, Snow white.
皇后、魔镜出场
Q: Mirror, mirror on the wall , who’s the most beautiful?
M: Snow white is much more beautiful than you!
Q: What ? Snow white is not dead ? Hahaha, I got a good idea!
音乐起，皇后扮演老太太出场，对话
Q: Apple ,apple, beautiful apple,
S.w: Hello, Good morning grandma!
Q: pretty girl ,would you like a bite?
S.w: Oh, yes ,thank you grandma!
白雪公主咬一口后倒地
Q: The girl is dead! Hahaha…
小矮人出场、围着公主哭
Snow white wake up, wake up…
音乐起，小矮人引着王子出场
P: A beautiful girl! She shall be my queen!
王子唤醒公主，公主醒了
P：Wake up ! Wake up , my queen !
S.w: Thank you for your help !
P: My pleasure !
音乐起，小矮人、公主、王子跳起欢快的舞
分我拿定了

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Legend of phoenix
Aside : This stage play was adapted according to an old story about a phoenix’ enjoyable experience in the beautiful water city of Liaocheng .The phoenix ,because she slyly drun...

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Legend of phoenix
Aside : This stage play was adapted according to an old story about a phoenix’ enjoyable experience in the beautiful water city of Liaocheng .The phoenix ,because she slyly drunk a glass of strong liquor in the heaven which was the tribute from the earth , was drove out from the heaven and fell on this enchanting place on the earth in an appearance of humanoid beauty .She would not return back until she found the same liquor.
Scene 1
Phoenix (soliloquy):Oh ,it was really a sound sleep .I dreamed of my mother and my sister , oh , I missed them so much . How can I return back .Yes , I have to search for the liquor , that fragrant and strong liquor . If I find it and drink the same amount . I will get my colorful plume and fly back to my heavenly home , and see my mother and sister . But…where am I ? The place is so charming that it reminds me of my home .Green grass , broad lake…
Over The Rainbow
Scene 2
(Mr. Zhang was a local merchant in Liaocheng ,while Mr. Wang was a merchant from Hangzhou who had promised to bring Mr. Zhang some jade plates for their business exchange . For Mr. Wang , it was his first trip to Liaocheng , and so ,Jinghang Canal was considered to be the most convenient route . But he has confronted much more difficulties . This morning a preceding letter said that Mr. Wang was going to arrived at Shanshan Guild Hall this noon . In case of missing Mr. Zhang has been waiting there since a very early time . However it was a long anxious wait . Mr. Zhang has grown too boring to stay any more , then , Mr. Wang finally showed up . But to ever