in your opinion ,what roles can grandparents play in today's society?200WORDS是作文噢..希望大家帮帮噢
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in your opinion ,what roles can grandparents play in today's society?200WORDS是作文噢..希望大家帮帮噢
in your opinion ,what roles can grandparents play in today's society?
200WORDS
是作文噢..希望大家帮帮噢
in your opinion ,what roles can grandparents play in today's society?200WORDS是作文噢..希望大家帮帮噢
Grandparents can play a crucial - though frequently unacknowledged - part in the lives of families with adolescents. Over the past few years they've been drawn into the spotlight, by the government and childcare agencies, for their growing role in supporting the care of their pre-school and primary school grandchildren; but could it be that their most important work comes later, when those kids hit their teens and grandparents find themselves being called in as confidantes and counsellors, usually at precisely the moment when talking to mum and dad is - for all sorts of reasons - suddenly very difficult?
Teenagers, it seems, both recognise and value the role of grandparents in their lives. A survey from the Heritage Lottery Fund, published today, challenges society's assumption that the iPod generation is obsessed with technological pleasures: one in five of the 800 adolescents questioned said they'd put seeing their grandparents above anything else in their lives. Overall, a visit from grandma and grandpa ranked second only to going on the internet as a favourite way to spend time, ahead of listening to music, watching telly and going to the park. And there was evidence, too, of how big a physical presence grandparents continue to be in grandchildren's lives, despite the increasing geographical distances between family members: a quarter of the respondents said they saw at least one grandparent at least twice a week, and two in five saw one at least once a week. And when asked what they talked to grandparents about, along with family anecdotes, current family issues were cited by half of the respondents as a main topic of discussion.
The clinical psychologist Linda Blair isn't surprised by the findings. She says that at a time when parents face increasingly frenetic lives, grandparents can be the anchor of family life. "Parents with teenagers are typically at their busiest phase of life: they're working extremely hard, and they have lots to worry about, especially their jobs and finances. They feel under siege, and kids pick up on that. Grandparents, by contrast, are more phlegmatic, more stable, more constant. They've come through their difficult times, they've survived, and that makes them more optimistic about life than overworked parents tend to be. This is what grandchildren appreciate."
The other big plus about grandparents, at a time when boundaries are being tested, is that they're not usually the disciplinarians in the family. "Teenagers always try to push against the rules, they're trying to establish what is and what isn't OK, and parents are having to be firm and clear about expectations. It's a tense and difficult time. With their grandparents, adolescents can become little kids again. They can sit around and be indulged, and they really need some of that. Grandparents can give teenagers space when they need it most."
In previous generations grandparents often had a reputation for being distant and authoritarian: but today their image is very different. The average age for becoming a grandparent for the first time is 49, so it certainly isn't the case that grandparents are literally younger than they used to be: but psychologically, says Lynn Chesterman, chief executive of the Grandparents Association, they're light years from where they once were.
"Today's grandparents are often gym-goers who dress fashionably, hold down jobs, and who are able to speak openly about all sorts of sensitive emotional issues," says Chesterman. "Seeming younger lessens the distance between them and their grandchildren, so it's easier for the younger generation to open up to them."
Talking to grandparents often feels less of a pressure than talking to parents, not least because they tend not to be so focused on achievement, says Chesterman. "We tend to be far less competitive than parents are - we're not interested in comparing our grandchildren to other kids, we're simply interested in them - we've done all that rivalry with our own children, and it isn't what life's about for us any more. In many ways you see life more objectively with your grandchildren than you did with your own children: you can sometimes look back at the way you acted with your children and feel you were too strident or too strong, and that being laid back might have been a better way. And then you can put that philosophy into play with your grandchildren."
Even where grandparents don't live round the corner, the emotional bond is often strong. Alex Oliver, 15, lives with his mum Annie in Bristol; his grandmother and step-grandfather live two hours' drive away. "Sometimes mum and I have a huge row and, because there are only the two of us in the house, it's all very intense and we really don't know how to get our relationship back on track," says Alex. "That's when I phone my granny, or even get the train to see her.
"She'll listen to me: sometimes, she's the only person I can talk to. If it's a row with my mum then sometimes she'll agree with me and sometimes she'll say she thinks I was in the wrong. There are times when you don't want to talk to your mates, and you can't talk to your mum, but you know your granny will always have an opinion."
In a crisis, a grandparent can sometimes be a lifesaver. A few years ago one of Sylviana Holness' daughters ended up at loggerheads with her 16-year-old son, and decided to chuck him out. "He used to get into a lot of trouble, and then there was this fight that brought matters to a head. The police were involved. My daughter said she'd had enough, and that he had to go.
"I was living in New York at the time but I flew over to the UK and I said to my daughter, you can't throw him out. When you were a teenager you gave me grief, but I didn't chuck you out. She reconsidered, and he stayed." That grandson, now in his 20s, remains close to Sylviana. "Some of my other grandkids say he's my favourite, but he's not. I love them all the same. But he's a good kid: he's a photographer now."
Sylviana, who's 81, lives in Tooting in south London and has 17 grandchildren scattered around the world: she keeps in touch with them by phone, but regrets that she can't be the constant presence in their life that her own grandmother was back in Jamaica when she was growing up. "There, grandmothers literally raise the kids while the parents are working," she says. "And though I can't do that, I do take my role very seriously.
"Sometimes they phone me up from Florida or New York: I've had a granddaughter phone to ask me about whether she should move in with her boyfriend, and another called to ask my advice about whether she should take out a mortgage. They know I've lived a lot of years and been through a lot of things: when they tell me a problem, I can usually relate it to something I've experienced."
Filling in the gaps in her grandchildren's knowledge of the Caribbean is another job Sylviana takes seriously. "Some of my grandchildren haven't even been to Jamaica, and even the ones who have need to know what life there was like for our ancestors. So I tell them about the farm where I grew up, and about how we lived. It's important for them to know."
Natalie Cierebiej-Jeffrey, 14, is another grandchild who's learning about her family's roots from her grandparents. In her case, they live in the same house in west London, so the opportunities to talk are endless. "They're really involved with my life," she says. "My grandmother has taken me on holiday to Poland, where she and my grandfather were born, and she talks to me in Polish and teaches me about Polish traditions. We do a lot of things the old Polish way. I like those links with Poland."
But the traffic isn't all one-way: there are huge benefits, practical and emotional, for grandparents who are close to their teenage grandchildren. Technology is an obvious binding force: studies show that today's 60- and 70-somethings are keen to embrace the internet, though they fear they won't always know what to do when it goes wrong. Like many older people, David McMahon, 64, relies on his grandchild. "Jodie, who's 17, often comes round to see us and helps when I'm stuck."
Jodie has always lived close to David and his wife Patricia: they've often been a port in a storm when she needed someone to talk to outside her immediate family. "It's a very rewarding relationship," David says, "one of the most rewarding of my life, I'd say. I worry about Jodie, and about all my grandchildren, but it is different from the worry about my own children - it's not quite so much at the front of my mind. I'd say the enjoyment far outweighs the worry, and that isn't always how it is with your own children."
Surveys say the same: one in Yours magazine in 2004 found 70% of respondents thought being a grandparent was better than being a parent, because there was more time to enjoy the youngsters, and less financial worries.
Beryl Hancox, who has two daughters and three grandsons, says she never imagined how wonderful being a grandmother would be. "I worked when my daughters were growing up; it was such a busy time. But I stopped working when my grandsons, who live just down the road, were little: and it's meant I've been able to be a big presence in their lives, because things were quieter for me. They're 16, 17 and 19 now, and I honestly can't tell you what they mean to me. Sometimes I feel I've never loved anyone in my life as much as I love my grandsons."
Her eldest grandson, Philippe, is now away at university. "I miss him so much; when they go they leave a hole in your life. But he keeps in touch by email and we talk on the phone. I'd love to think he'll come back to live round here, though I doubt he will. But I do believe he'll always come back to see his grandmother."
One is to be a eldership who can give us education,the other is to be a friend who can encourage us to have a happy life and share us with sorrow and happiness~!.
在您看来,在今天的社会什么角色可以扮演祖父母
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在您看来,在今天的社会祖父母应该扮演什么角色?
AN IRREPLACEABLE INFLUENCE
By Susanne Frost Olsen, ‘75, Alan C. Taylor, ‘93, and Kelly DiSpirito Taylor, ‘92
The parent-child relationship is both sacred and infini...
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在您看来,在今天的社会祖父母应该扮演什么角色?
AN IRREPLACEABLE INFLUENCE
By Susanne Frost Olsen, ‘75, Alan C. Taylor, ‘93, and Kelly DiSpirito Taylor, ‘92
The parent-child relationship is both sacred and infinitely necessary. However, every individual in a family should be involved in supporting parents--especially when a parent is rearing children alone. Grandparents and other extended family members can be influential in supporting and strengthening parents.
Historically, the functioning family unit included more than just the traditional nuclear family. Elder J. Richard Clarke, a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy of the Church of Jesus Christ, comments, "In earliest biblical culture, the family was more than a parent and child unit. It included all who were related by blood and marriage. This kindred family, as I prefer to call it, was strongly linked by natural affection and the patriarchal priesthood. The elderly were venerated for their experience and wisdom. There were strength and safety in numbers, and, through love and support, members established solidarity and continuity."
Grandparental Influence
Grandparents have been found to be influential in some of the fundamental aspects of their grandchildren's lives, namely in helping them form their identities and in transmitting values, ideals, and beliefs to them. These areas have been described in family research over several decades.
Grandparents have a strong impact on their grandchildren's sense of identity. When an individual does not have intergenerational family relationships, he or she may lack a cultural and historical sense of self. A lack of bonds, especially at the intergenerational level, may yield a less-developed sense of identity. Through relationships with those of previous generations, we can gain a better grasp of who we are and where we came from. One scholar theorized that the particular human chain we belong to is central to our individual identity. In addition, research with adolescents and young adults shows that transmitting knowledge about cultural and familial roots may be the most important way grandparents can influence an adolescent's search for identity.
Grandparents are also important in the transmission of values, ideals, and beliefs to grandchildren. Certain traits are more commonly transmitted intergenerationally than are others. These may include religious affiliation, education, and occupational achievement. Sexual, moral, and educational beliefs have also been associated with grandparental influence. Some research shows that grandmothers play an especially important role in their grandchildren's value development. Work ethics, however, seem to be equally influenced by both grandmothers and grandfathers.
Roles Grandparents Play
Grandparents can influence their grandchildren through the roles they assume in their grandchildren's lives. Based on interviews of 300 grandchildren, Kornhaber and Woodward suggested a number of direct roles played by grandparents,· including the following:
Family historian. Grandparents who act as family historians inform current generations about the experiences of their progenitors and the origins of their family lineage. Grandparents often remember more about family history and are able to provide continuity in family traditions. This is a particularly important role, given the strong emphasis of the Church of Jesus Christ on genealogy and the knowledge that families have the opportunity to be united beyond this life into the eternities. Of grandparents, Improvement Era editor Bill R. Linder wrote: "They serve as a link between the child and the preceding generation, bringing continuity to the family and knowledge of previous eras. . . . Through grandparent companionship, the child learns the humanness and early experiences of his parents. The child has something on which to build his own personality and attitudes--different and separate, yet part of his family units. . . . Without the past there is no future--and if we close the connecting links we will not only find the past, but we will be prepared for the future also."
Mentor-teacher. As mentors and teachers grandparents take time to teach a moral principle or skill or instruct in some meaningful way. For example, former Church President Ezra Taft Benson encouraged grandparents to take time to read with their grandchildren and to tell them stories. Through this type of interaction, "children then obtain a perspective of life which is not only rewarding but can bring them security, peace, and strength." In addition grandchildren may emulate grandparents' examples observed through one-on-one interactions. Mentorship can also involve assuming patriarchal and matriarchal responsibilities within the extended family unit. President Benson emphasized this idea when he stated, "We urge all senior members, when possible, to call their families together. Organize them into cohesive units. Give leadership to family gatherings. Establish family reunions where fellowship and family heritage can be felt and learned."
Nurturer. Another role that provides important opportunities for grandparents is that of being nurturers of grandchildren's emotional and physical well-being. Almost all grandparents will at least occasionally assume a nurturing role in the lives of their grandchildren. Many grandparents feel a need to assure themselves of the physical and emotional well-being of their posterity, which makes this role a vital one in many families.
Role model. With the state of today's deteriorating society, grandchildren are often in need of positive role models in their lives. Adolescents and young adults are continually searching for people to emulate. Of this Elder Monte J. Brough of the First Quorum of the Seventy commented, "Most of us, with relatively little effort . . . can provide for our families a veritable list of important role models. This list can be created from a modest search into the lives of our ancestors." Grandparents can serve this function for families and society simply by living honorable and respectable lives. They can be the heroes grandchildren seek to pattern their lives after. Most grandchildren are observant and will strive to emulate specific qualities they find admirable in the adults with whom they associate--especially their parents and grandparents. In a study of Latter-day Saint grandfathers and their adult grandchildren, many of the grandchildren interviewed respected and acknowledged their grandfathers as the patriarchs of their families, and consequently, many said they wanted to emulate their grandfathers in this role.
Playmate. Finally, grandparents can serve as playmates in the lives of their grandchildren. Sometimes parents are busy with jobs and the responsibilities of other children; however, grandparents are free from some of these obligations. For example, in one study recreational activities were a dominant theme discussed by adult grandchildren as a source of bonding with their grandfathers.
Strengthening Intergenerational Ties
Most people acknowledge that strengthening relationships between grandparents and grandchildren is important to family well-being, but many wonder how best to build these intergenerational ties. In the study of grandfathers and their adult grandchildren, several categories of activities were identified as effective in strengthening intergenerational bonds. Such activities included family get-togethers, working and doing chores, recreational activities, phone calls and conversations, and family- and church-oriented activities.
Regarding parenting, the proclamation on the family states, "Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed." Grandparents can provide such support to parents in myriad ways while building enduring and edifying relationships with their grandchildren.
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在你看来 在今天的社会中祖父母们可以扮演什么角色
在你看来,你的爷爷奶奶们在今天的社会中扮演的是一个什么样的角色.
LOVE AND CARE
LIFE EXPERIENCE
WISDOM
MONEY