帮我看看这篇英文有什么地方错?看下有那几个地方错了,帮我改改!When my eighteenth birthday came,I war not in home.In order to celebrate such important day with my dear parents,I wrote a long letter,in which I thanked him for h

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帮我看看这篇英文有什么地方错?看下有那几个地方错了,帮我改改!Whenmyeighteenthbirthdaycame,Iwarnotinhome.Inordertocelebratesuchimpo

帮我看看这篇英文有什么地方错?看下有那几个地方错了,帮我改改!When my eighteenth birthday came,I war not in home.In order to celebrate such important day with my dear parents,I wrote a long letter,in which I thanked him for h
帮我看看这篇英文有什么地方错?
看下有那几个地方错了,帮我改改!When my eighteenth birthday came,I war not in home.In order to celebrate such important day with my dear parents,I wrote a long letter,in which I thanked him for having raised me for 18 years,and expressed my love for them.Later,Mother tell me when she read the letter,tears were filled her eyes.But Father appeared very cool.After that,he studied it lonely carefully.Then he put it up into a desk drawer.I can imagine the scene clear because I know Father.Being a man with few word,he prefers to show his love for me in a silent way.

帮我看看这篇英文有什么地方错?看下有那几个地方错了,帮我改改!When my eighteenth birthday came,I war not in home.In order to celebrate such important day with my dear parents,I wrote a long letter,in which I thanked him for h
(...) 是我加的,或者是更改过的词句
[...] 是适合的用法,包括语法,标点符号的修正等
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When my eighteenth birthday [arrived],I [was away from] home.
In order to celebrate such (an) important day with my dear parents,I wrote a long letter[.] In which I thanked [them] for having raised me for (the past)18 years,and expressed my love for them.
Later,(my) mother [told] me (that) when she read the letter,[her eyes were filled with tears].(My) father (on the other hand,) appeared very cool.
(However),he [later read] it carefully (by himself).He (then) [placed] it up into a desk drawer.I can imagine the scene [clearly] because I know [him well].Being a man with few word,he prefers to show his love for me in a silent way.

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