雅思G类小作文批改!你在超市碰到一个事故,请你给主管写信,要求1.say who you are 2.give details about the accident 3.suggest how the supermarket could prevent similar accidents以下为本人信件：dear sir,I'm a customer who

雅思G类小作文批改!你在超市碰到一个事故,请你给主管写信,要求1.say who you are 2.give details about the accident 3.suggest how the supermarket could prevent similar accidents以下为本人信件：dear sir,I'm a customer who
雅思G类小作文批改!
你在超市碰到一个事故,请你给主管写信,要求1.say who you are 2.give details about the accident 3.suggest how the supermarket could prevent similar accidents
以下为本人信件：
dear sir,
I'm a customer who come to your supermaket every day for the goods I need in the dailylife.
But today,I had been hurt by one of the heavin things which was put on the high in your market.As your supermaket has less chairs compared whit the lots of people,so I couldn't find a chair that was free.Without chair ,it is hard to get the goods which were put on the high.I had called the servers in the market,but they were too busy to help me .So I should picked it down by myself.And then I had been hurt by the things
that were put on the high.
So I write this letter to suggest you to prevent this accident happen again.You should add more chairs or servers inside the supermaket to make people safety.
see you.
TOM
4th Dec

雅思G类小作文批改!你在超市碰到一个事故,请你给主管写信,要求1.say who you are 2.give details about the accident 3.suggest how the supermarket could prevent similar accidents以下为本人信件：dear sir,I'm a customer who
Dear Sir./ Madam,
My name is Tom and I am a customer of your supermarket.Today I fell off the ladder while trying to reach a bottle of shampoo on the top shelf.
All the others were sold out,there was only one bottle left and it was put on the top shelf.I asked for help,but all the assistants were busy.Then I tried to get it by myself.It took me a long time to find a ladder.Even when i stood on the top of the ladder,the shampoo was still very hard to reach.The accident happened when I stood on the tip of my toes,I lost balance and fell off the ladder.some other bottles fell off and hit on my head as well.
After all happened,finally there was a shop assistant to help me out.Luckily,I only hurt my left foot ankle and the doctor said it will be fine in a couple of days.
I am a very loyal customer to your supermarket and I shop here everyday.But what happened today makes me very disappointed.What I suggest to do is to add more people during busy hours so that customers can be looked after when needed.Besides,I believe your supermarket needs to train your staff to improve their service quality as well.I am sure there were assistants saw me struggling reaching the bottle on the top shelf and nobody offered help.
I hope you could give this issue your immediate attention.Thank you for your time.
Yours Sincerely,
Tom

这篇作文水平在5分，最高不会超过5分的。
点评：文章能反映出你想表达的意思，阅卷老师也会看懂，你也提出了自己的观点，基本符合题意。这些是优点， 缺点是文章中的错误比较多，不管是时态还是语法，都出现了一些错误。而且反映出来的问题太过简单，体现不出你的写作水平。建议你以后可以多看一些雅思考试的高分作文，做一些记录和积累，找出你们的差距，这是很必要的。其次你可以听听环雅名师于光老师的写作课，面授...

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这篇作文水平在5分，最高不会超过5分的。
点评：文章能反映出你想表达的意思，阅卷老师也会看懂，你也提出了自己的观点，基本符合题意。这些是优点， 缺点是文章中的错误比较多，不管是时态还是语法，都出现了一些错误。而且反映出来的问题太过简单，体现不出你的写作水平。建议你以后可以多看一些雅思考试的高分作文，做一些记录和积累，找出你们的差距，这是很必要的。其次你可以听听环雅名师于光老师的写作课，面授网络的都可以，写作一定要写出自己的特点才会得高分!

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