帮忙看看这里面有没有语法错误,I am a 21-year-old girl and now accept education in Guangzhou University.I am good at English and communicate well each others.I am like help others and familiar with the local thing.I am promise if I am adm

帮忙看看这里面有没有语法错误,I am a 21-year-old girl and now accept education in Guangzhou University.I am good at English and communicate well each others.I am like help others and familiar with the local thing.I am promise if I am adm
帮忙看看这里面有没有语法错误,
I am a 21-year-old girl and now accept education in Guangzhou University.I am good at English and communicate well each others.I am like help others and familiar with the local thing.I am promise if I am admitted into the voluntear I will prove a good services.Please consider me.
可不可以按照这里面的最佳答案的格式来呢？

帮忙看看这里面有没有语法错误,I am a 21-year-old girl and now accept education in Guangzhou University.I am good at English and communicate well each others.I am like help others and familiar with the local thing.I am promise if I am adm
I am a 21-year-old girl and now receiving education in Guangzhou University.这句话明显后面的receive应该用进行时,另外注意一下：接受教育中的接受,receive和accept用法不同,你可以复习一下.我所查到的资料中,大多数的是用receive,用accept的比较少,所以用receive是比较准确的.如果你实在搞不懂,可以直接用这个,Example:I'm being educated in Tongji University.
I am good at English and communicating with others well.这句话这样是没什么问题的,但是总是感觉前后不是很适合.建议你这样改一下：I 've got a good knowledge of English and I can fluently communicate with others in it.
I like helping others and I am familiar with the local things quite well.你当时写的句子,说明like这个词你没搞懂：like这个词,你看一下这里http://dict.baidu.com/s?wd=like 主要注意like动词、介词、形容词、连词.各自词性的主要用法,以及意思都是有差别的,一定熟记.“我喜欢帮助别人”喜欢是动词,怎么会前面加am呢?这就是词性及意义的混淆.另外可以看出,你当时的时态学习不好,很多时候有时态混乱出现.
I promise that if I am admitted as a volunteer.I'd like to do everything best to do well.这句话中的词你有两个错了,一个是volunteer,还有就是provide,你写的prove是证明的意思.还有一点你没理解,就是service是不可数名词,没有复数,也一般不加a,用provide service就好了.但是,这句话用provide service是不适合的,这个词组都是用在企业、公司、机构等等,这个跟汉语还是有差别的.那么这里可以用I will do well一类的词就已经很适合了.另外就是,I promise 后面的that是不能省略的,这里我就不赘述了.
Please consider my application.这个就是固定的用法了.Please consider me.是汉语化的英语,多读一些英语就好了.还有就是Please give me this opportunity.这样的说法也是不适合的,英美人都不是很喜欢这样直白生硬的说法.
hehe,这样分析很费劲的— —

I am a 21-year-old girl and now RECEIVE education AT Guangzhou University.I am good at English and CAN communicate well WITH OTHERS. I LIKE TO help others and AM familiar with the local STUFF. I PROMISE if I am admitted TO the voluntear TEAM, I will PROVIDE good services. Please consider MY APPLICATION.

“accept education"换成"study"
"communicate"换成“communicating"（at后接名词或动名词)
"well"后面加"with"
“I am like help...thing"整句改写"I am willing to help others and assist them to understand local conventi...

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“accept education"换成"study"
"communicate"换成“communicating"（at后接名词或动名词)
"well"后面加"with"
“I am like help...thing"整句改写"I am willing to help others and assist them to understand local convention"
"I am promise"换成"I would promise"
"I am admitted into..."改成"I could be admitted as a voluntear"
最后一句话最好写成“I would be greatly appreciate if you grand me a chance."
我只是把我觉得有错或是表达不准确的地方改了一下，如果你这个要求不高还可以，其实还有很多可以改进的地方。

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I am a 21-year-old and now receiving education in Guangzhou University. I am good at English and can communicate with others well. I like helping others and can get familiar with the local things quite well. I promise if i could take this voluteering job, I would serve quite well. Please give me this opportunity.