雅思作文,请求好心人帮我批改一下作文.The bar chart casts information about the amount that is spent on six consumer goods in four European countries(Gremany,Italy,France,and Britain).Obviously,the situation reflected frome country to

雅思作文,请求好心人帮我批改一下作文.The bar chart casts information about the amount that is spent on six consumer goods in four European countries(Gremany,Italy,France,and Britain).Obviously,the situation reflected frome country to
雅思作文,请求好心人帮我批改一下作文.
The bar chart casts information about the amount that is spent on six consumer goods in four European countries(Gremany,Italy,France,and Britain).Obviously,the situation reflected frome country to coubtry.
We can see the highest overall consumption in four European countries in the Britain.Only in the case of tennis racquets,the amount of Britain and Italy is very closed.And in the other aspects,the speeding of Britain is considerably higher than other countries.However,there exists a totally different situation in that of Gremany.To be specific,Grenmany is the lowest consumer.Surprisingly,Gremany spends more than another country,France,which in terms of tennis racquets and perfumes.
By contrast,Italy and France share a siimilar position among the four European countries listed.Specially,Itlay spends more on personal stereos,tennis racquets and perfumes.And only in terms of photographic films does less than France.Interestingly,Italy and France is equal on the toys consumption.

雅思作文,请求好心人帮我批改一下作文.The bar chart casts information about the amount that is spent on six consumer goods in four European countries(Gremany,Italy,France,and Britain).Obviously,the situation reflected frome country to
第一句没有文法错误,但是我个人认为表达的有点小奇怪.就我个人来说哈,我习惯写成：.concerning/with respect to/regarding the amount of six consumer goods (which are) spent in four.
第二句是不是有笔误呀?没看懂.是不是这个意思：Obviously,the reflected situation varies.
is the Britan. 
only in the.,is the amount of.close.
the speed of.
there is .in Germany (德国写错啦). 
Surprisingly,in terms of tennis racquets and perfumes, Germany consumes more than France.
 Sepecifically,Italy.
楼主,这是雅思小作文吧?我觉得只有5.5分.对于chart的描述和各个国家的对比不是很清楚,可能是因为用词上欠缺吧...建议楼主去被一些表示趋势的上升,下降等的动词,很多雅思的书都有哈.


我也只是个学生,能力有限,说的不好的请见谅哈··


Leo