求两件英文趣事!不要过长最好不是笑话

求两件英文趣事!不要过长最好不是笑话
求两件英文趣事!
不要过长
最好不是笑话

求两件英文趣事!不要过长最好不是笑话
1.One Engine Left
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker,"Attention,passengers.We have lost one of our engines,but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left.Unfortunately,we will arrive an hour late as a r esult."
Shortly thereafter,the passengers heard the captain's voice again,"Guess what,folks.We just lost our third engine,but please be assured we can fly with only one.We will now arrive in London three hours late."
At this point,one passenger became furious."For Pete's sake," he shouted,"If we lose another engine,we'll be up here all night!"
只剩一个引擎
一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时,喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意,我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了.但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的.只是我们要因此晚到一小时 .” 过了一会儿,旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位,你们猜怎么啦 我们刚又掉了第三个引擎.但请你们相信好了.只有一个引擎我们也能飞,但要晚三个小时了.” 正在这时,一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上,如果我们再掉一个引擎,我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了.”
2.A Good-Bye Gift
When Michael Ma died,his three best friends went to his funeral.
They stood for a moment,looking down into the grave of their friend.
"He was a good friend,"the first person said."He was generous and kind.Let's give him some money to use in heaven ."
The other two friends agreed.They thought this was a good idea.
The first friend took his wallet out of his pocket,opened it and took out a $100 bill.Then he threw it into the grave.
The second friend did not want the other two to think he was stingy,so he also took out his wallet.
"You're right,"he said."He always helped his friends.He deserves to have everything he needs in his next life."
And with these words,he also threw hundred dollar bill into the grave.
The third man looked at the other two,and thought carefully for several minutes.He did not want them to think he was stingy ,but he really did hate spending money.
Then he took out his checkbook and wrote a check for thre hundred dollars.He then threw the check into the grave.
"I haven't got any change,"he said ,"but that check is for three hundred dollars,so I've given the same as you."

4 Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold them!
斯丹：我赢...

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4 Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold them!
斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？
斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！
5 George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, “can Albert come out to play? ”
“ No,” said the mother, “it's too cold. ”
“ Well, then, ” said George, “ can his football come out to play ? ”
乔冶敲着他朋友家的门。当朋友的妈妈来应门时，他问：“阿尔伯特可以出来玩吗？ ”
“ 不行， ” 那位妈妈说， “ 天气太冷了。 ”
“ 噢，那么， ” 乔冶， “ 他的足球可以出来玩吗？

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1.填表格的时候可能会遇到两种情况：
Sex：male _____ female _____ 以及 Sex：□ male □ female
前者应该在横线上打√，后者应该在方框里打╳，不过经常有人会写错
后来有些地方采用这样一种更加省力的办法：Sex：_____________
让填写者自己填写性别，不过这样貌似也会产生误解
因为有人曾经这么写：...

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1.填表格的时候可能会遇到两种情况：
Sex：male _____ female _____ 以及 Sex：□ male □ female
前者应该在横线上打√，后者应该在方框里打╳，不过经常有人会写错
后来有些地方采用这样一种更加省力的办法：Sex：_____________
让填写者自己填写性别，不过这样貌似也会产生误解
因为有人曾经这么写：Sex：___twice a week___
2.一对广东的夫妻签证去美国，男的叫“尤发金”，女的叫“杜美”。
签证官：What's your name?
尤：Fucking U（发金 尤）
签证官：What?! Fucking me?
尤：No fucking me, fucking U
签证官转向他老婆，他老婆说：Me too!（美 杜）

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