英语高手请进改错Thirty-three people were already dead in a traffic accident and twelve of them being old men.

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英语高手请进改错Thirty-threepeoplewerealreadydeadinatrafficaccidentandtwelveofthembeingoldmen.英语高手请进改错Thirty

英语高手请进改错Thirty-three people were already dead in a traffic accident and twelve of them being old men.
英语高手请进改错
Thirty-three people were already dead in a traffic accident and twelve of them being old men.

英语高手请进改错Thirty-three people were already dead in a traffic accident and twelve of them being old men.
Thirty-three people were already dead in a traffic accident and twelve of them were old men.
Thirty-three people were already dead in a traffic accident ,twelve of them being old men.
Thirty-three people were already dead in a traffic accident ,twelve of whom were old men.
Thirty-three people were already dead in a traffic accident and among them twelve were old men.
这几个都可以.

把being改为were
Thirty-three people were already dead in a traffic accident and twelve of them were old men.

把were去掉

Thirty-three people were already dead in a traffic accident and twelve of them were old men.

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