*麻烦英语达人批改一篇英语作文（高三）*帮我看一下有什么错误,给我些建议.再打个分.Caring for ChildrenIn my country,most of people pay a lot of attention to babies and small children .some people give up their career

*麻烦英语达人批改一篇英语作文（高三）*帮我看一下有什么错误,给我些建议.再打个分.Caring for ChildrenIn my country,most of people pay a lot of attention to babies and small children .some people give up their career
*麻烦英语达人批改一篇英语作文（高三）*
帮我看一下有什么错误,给我些建议.再打个分.
Caring for Children
In my country,most of people pay a lot of attention to babies and small children .some people give up their career in order to care their babies and small children attentively.others ask their parents to care for them .seldom children are sent to day care centers because most of parents prefer to look after r them by themselves even if they are very busy with their work.some parents send their children to swimming centers .there are professional swimmers and experienced teachers to teach them how to swim.children have many kinds of toys such as puzzles,bear dolls.they enjoy playing games with their friends like hide-and-seek.they are fond of singing songs when they are in high spirits .for example,two tigers,only mom is nice in the world.

*麻烦英语达人批改一篇英语作文（高三）*帮我看一下有什么错误,给我些建议.再打个分.Caring for ChildrenIn my country,most of people pay a lot of attention to babies and small children .some people give up their career
seldom children are sent to day care centers 这个句子有语法错误,seldom是一个否定意义的单词,位于句首,句子要半倒装.seldom are children sent to day-care centers.day-care 应该构成一个形容词,所以加一个“-”号.
整体感觉还是不错,但是文章的连贯性有问题,没有过渡就说家长送孩子去学游泳,又过渡到玩具,就感觉脱节了.
如果是考试的25分满分,我觉得老师应该可以给你至少23-24分之间.
写的很好,很好,比很多大学生都写的好!加油

我先翻译一下，你看着办吧：
照顾孩子
在我的国家,大部分人付出了大量关注到婴儿和小孩,有的人放弃他们的事业,为了照顾她们的婴儿和小孩用心.别人问他们的父母来照顾孩子送到.很少日托中心,因为大多数家长愿意照顾他们,即使他们自己和他们的工作都很忙,有些父母送子女游泳中心还有专业运动员及经验丰富的老师来教他们的孩子如何游泳.有许多种类的玩具,如拼图,熊娃娃.他们喜欢玩网络游戏与他们的...

全部展开

我先翻译一下，你看着办吧：
照顾孩子
在我的国家,大部分人付出了大量关注到婴儿和小孩,有的人放弃他们的事业,为了照顾她们的婴儿和小孩用心.别人问他们的父母来照顾孩子送到.很少日托中心,因为大多数家长愿意照顾他们,即使他们自己和他们的工作都很忙,有些父母送子女游泳中心还有专业运动员及经验丰富的老师来教他们的孩子如何游泳.有许多种类的玩具,如拼图,熊娃娃.他们喜欢玩网络游戏与他们的朋友喜欢捉迷藏.他们喜欢唱歌时,他们都兴高采烈。举例来说,有两只老虎,只有妈妈很好,在世界上。
我觉得挺好，没有错别字

收起

4级中等作文了