雅思作文批改请高手们帮我看看这篇文章的问题,顺便给个分数,TITLE：Nowadays we are seeing more and more exhibitions and sculptures appearing in public places.It is wrong that governments are funding artist projects when there

雅思作文批改请高手们帮我看看这篇文章的问题,顺便给个分数,TITLE：Nowadays we are seeing more and more exhibitions and sculptures appearing in public places.It is wrong that governments are funding artist projects when there
雅思作文批改
请高手们帮我看看这篇文章的问题,顺便给个分数,
TITLE：Nowadays we are seeing more and more exhibitions and sculptures appearing in public places.It is wrong that governments are funding artist projects when there are more important things we could be doing with tax payers money.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Currently,an increasing number of art projects have been funded publicly by any means,and escalating number of people are questioning the true value of this action,refuting that government should not be collecting tax payer’s money to support exhibitions and public sculptures that many people do not visit or appreciate.Indeed,they believe that more fields are needed to be invested like education,and that art objects,therefore,are ought to be patronized by devoted fans,as sporting events are,or by way of confidential philanthropy.For me,I agree with this point badly.
By way of forming my own opinion to the assigned statement,I will discuss the many drawbacks of putting too much money into art field.That is,it is actually inappropriate to lay more stress on this field at one period.First and foremost,focusing on this point may lead to overlook other crucial things more or less,which,in fact,need more attentions from the country.Obviously,this would cause a series of problems and even intervene a regular development which has been originally designed.
What is needed,therefore,is focusing on the field of education.What is meant by this is that the question of education,even viewed from the whole world,always lies on the top of people’s list.Consequently,all of the governments all over the world are supposed to give supports to relative sections where provide sufficient teaching equipments and adequate teachers for children from pregnancy.Also,government has the obligation to make sure that every child has the chance to receive formal education,because that is the central to a country.
Therefore,although I respect the aim of supporting art projects to some degree,I believe the best or only place which is worthy to be granted is still the education.Admittedly,it is perhaps long investigation,nevertheless,it is the most valuable and realistic policy.

雅思作文批改请高手们帮我看看这篇文章的问题,顺便给个分数,TITLE：Nowadays we are seeing more and more exhibitions and sculptures appearing in public places.It is wrong that governments are funding artist projects when there
从组织结构上来看,想得7分是不可能的.
议论文高分要严格遵循雅思的三段式“八股文”：
1、立论
2、逻辑
3、证据
举例来说,你想说不支持政府过度投入艺术资金,论点鲜明,没有问题,但是逻辑和证据不足.
换了我,会这样写：
1、立论：支持对艺术的高度重视
2、逻辑：对于各个国家,特别是中国这样的发展中国家,精神消费能够促进社会发展,提高国家影响力,改善国际形象,补充教育对社会素质提高的不足
3、证据：
（1）精神消费能够促进社会发展：中国目前是世界大工厂,用廉价劳动力换取国外工业品,比如软件,非常不平等.艺术品的高附加值恰恰是中国最需要的.大型演出、艺术品展览、能够有效拉动国际需求,对外输出的是纸张和塑料,但是可以换到同等价格的石油、矿藏就非常客观了.从战略角度看,用软资源换取硬资源是国家经济战略的最有效武器之一.
（2）提高国家影响力,改善国际形象：艺术文化交流是打破国际间紧张关系的第一手段,经济交流是第二手段,军事武力震慑是最后的选择.艺术文化交流可以缓解种族歧视、民族矛盾、军事威胁,是维系国际沟通渠道的重要资源和手段.比如,美国因为“一个中国”的政策,不可能与中国台湾地区建立正式外交关系,但是毕竟需要一些沟通渠道,所以用一个外交级别最低的经济文化代表处代替使馆领馆.这就是美国斡旋台海关系的重要手段.
（3）补充教育对社会素质提高的不足：教育本身是有年龄地域局限性的,比如说,高等教育到学生大学甚至研究生毕业,就不在对成年人、老年人有系统性的素质建设了,文化宣传恰好是对教育的足够补充.中国是个老龄化社会,14亿人口平均年龄33岁,如果完全依赖教育,则实现整体素质大幅度提高的周期会非常漫长；文化宣传则不会有年龄限制、地域限制,是对社会整体素质提高的重要手段.
－综上所述,支持政府在尽可能的情况下,将文化交流作为重要的社会公益事业予以支持和鼓励.
实话说,我雅思就是纯7分