我现读初二,刚限时做了一份2010年中考北京英语.帮忙修改下,十、文段表达（15分）\x05根据中外提示和英文书信内容,写一封意思连贯、符合逻辑、不少于60词的回信,信的开头恶化结尾已给出,

我现读初二,刚限时做了一份2010年中考北京英语.帮忙修改下,十、文段表达（15分）\x05根据中外提示和英文书信内容,写一封意思连贯、符合逻辑、不少于60词的回信,信的开头恶化结尾已给出,
我现读初二,刚限时做了一份2010年中考北京英语.帮忙修改下,
十、文段表达（15分）
\x05根据中外提示和英文书信内容,写一封意思连贯、符合逻辑、不少于60词的回信,信的开头恶化结尾已给出,其词数布局如梭完成的回信内.请不要写出你的校名和姓名.
75.假设你叫刘京,是美国中学生托尼的笔友,你收到了他的来信.请给托尼写一封回信,回答他的问题,介绍北京良好的公交服务,并谈谈你的感受.
Hi!Liu Jing,
My grandpa is going to Beijing next month because he ahs heard a lot about the city and he would like to see it himself.He says the bus service in Beijing is very good now,and people can to anywhere by bus.Is he right?Can you tell me something more about it?
I’m looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours,
Tony
Hi!Tony,
I’m glad to know your grandpa is coming to Beijing.___________________
_________________________________________________________________
If you have more questions,please ask me.
Yours,
Liu Jing
我写如下：
HI!Tony,
I’m glad to know your grandpa is coming to Beijing.
Beijing is the capital of china ,and the traffic is greater than ever before—especially the bus service.There are so many buses on the roads the whole day ,and you can take two different buses to go to the same place.The bus drive do well in driving,and they are also be friendly to one another.People can go anywhere by bus.If someone doesn’t know which bus should he take,he can ask the bus drive for help ,and the driver will tell him with a big smile .so in my opinion ,the bus service in Beijing is the best .if I were your grandpa,I would can’t wait to come here.
如果能对我写作方面提点建议,更好了.

我现读初二,刚限时做了一份2010年中考北京英语.帮忙修改下,十、文段表达（15分）\x05根据中外提示和英文书信内容,写一封意思连贯、符合逻辑、不少于60词的回信,信的开头恶化结尾已给出,
HI! Tony,
I’m glad to know your grandpa is coming to Beijing.
Beijing is the capital of china , and the traffic is greater than ever before—especially the bus service. There are so many buses on the roads ( in the day) , and you can take two different buses to go to the same place. The bus ( driver does) well in driving, and they are also (be 删掉） friendly to （every passender). People can go anywhere by bus. If someone doesn’t know which bus (he should take), he can ask the bus driver for help , and the driver will tell him with a big smile . so in my opinion , the bus service in Beijing is the best . if I were your grandpa, I would (can’t不可以酱紫用,换成 not ) wait to come here.
建议
1 基本词语不要写错 bus driver
2 缺乏高级句型 比如 可以说交通便利 the traffic is so convenience that you can go where you want to go by bus.
再比如 as a native of beijing, I would like to introduce . to you.
with the traffic in beijing so convienient, you can go anywhere as you like.
3 适当用连接词 not only ... but also what's more besides .
4 如果多记一些高级词汇和短语,文章更有分量
当然你的功底是很好的,用了虚拟语气, 宾语从句（但两处是错的 should 不用提前）