15分的作文这样写可得多少分,跪求啊It was a nice day , I want to buy a gift foy my father to celebrte his birthday . At 8 am , I went to a shopping mall and decided to buy a watch . Then , I took subway return to home . there was so many

15分的作文这样写可得多少分,跪求啊It was a nice day , I want to buy a gift foy my father to celebrte his birthday . At 8 am , I went to a shopping mall and decided to buy a watch . Then , I took subway return to home . there was so many
15分的作文这样写可得多少分,跪求啊
It was a nice day , I want to buy a gift foy my father to celebrte his birthday . At 8 am , I went to a shopping mall and decided to buy a watch . Then , I took subway return to home . there was so many people on the subway that just has one sit left . I feel very lucky . Few minites later , I saw an old woman got on the subway with two boxes and looked like pretty tired . When she came to my front , I decided to stand to let her sit . A bout one minite later , she thanked to me with a big smail , I felt very happy at that moment .
After that , I feel help others is a happy thing .
第二排的return改为returned

15分的作文这样写可得多少分,跪求啊It was a nice day , I want to buy a gift foy my father to celebrte his birthday . At 8 am , I went to a shopping mall and decided to buy a watch . Then , I took subway return to home . there was so many
Then ,I took subway returned to home 既然前面没有用first,那么这里的Then就是错误的.还有标点符号后的第一个字母要大写.只要把事情交代清楚了,就可以了.如果有字数要求的,如100字,那么150字是最高的了,不用写得太多.

It was a nice day , I 【wanted】 to buy a gift foy my father to celebrte his birthday . At 8 am , I went to a shopping mall and decided to buy a watch . Then , I took 【a】subway 【to】【return home 】. ther...

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It was a nice day , I 【wanted】 to buy a gift foy my father to celebrte his birthday . At 8 am , I went to a shopping mall and decided to buy a watch . Then , I took 【a】subway 【to】【return home 】. there 【were】 so many people on the subway that 【there was only】one 【seat】left . I 【felt】 very lucky 【and took the seat】. 【A 】Few 【minutes】 later , I saw an old woman 【get】 on the subway with two boxes and 【looked pretty tired】 . When she came to my front , I decided to 【offer my seat to her】. A bout one 【minute】 later , she 【thanked me】 with a big 【smile】 , I felt very happy at that moment .
After that , I 【think】【helping】 others is a happy thing .
这是你的错误。而且很多是动词错误、语法错误。但是文章大意还能看懂。我个人觉得你的文章也就在6--7分。

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8分~~