请帮忙修改一下英语作文My tripLast summer I went to Xi’an with my friends,We went there by plane.I can’t believe it only took me 12 hours to get there.We stayed there for five days.On Monday,we visited some famous places.On Tuesday ,we

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请帮忙修改一下英语作文MytripLastsummerIwenttoXi’anwithmyfriends,Wewenttherebyplane.Ican’tbelieveitonlytookme12h

请帮忙修改一下英语作文My tripLast summer I went to Xi’an with my friends,We went there by plane.I can’t believe it only took me 12 hours to get there.We stayed there for five days.On Monday,we visited some famous places.On Tuesday ,we
请帮忙修改一下英语作文
My trip
Last summer I went to Xi’an with my friends,We went there by plane.I can’t believe it only took me 12 hours to get there.We stayed there for five days.On Monday,we visited some famous places.On Tuesday ,we took a lot of photos.On Wednesday,we went shopping.On Thursday,we ate local food in the restaurant.On Friday,We went to the Xi’an park.We had a good time.

请帮忙修改一下英语作文My tripLast summer I went to Xi’an with my friends,We went there by plane.I can’t believe it only took me 12 hours to get there.We stayed there for five days.On Monday,we visited some famous places.On Tuesday ,we
famous places改成 places of interests 名胜的意思
shopping后面加上and we bought some tourist souvenirs (我们买了一些旅游纪念品
On Thursday,we ate local food in the restaurant改成We ate local food in the restaurant on Thursday.再加上it was delicious.
We went to the Xi’an park后面加上It was beautiful.And we all have fun playing there(并且我们都在那儿玩得很高兴)

I couldn't believe it only took me 12 hours to get there.
we took a lot of photos.(多了这个标点)On Wednesday

语法没什么问题,不过,你不觉得很像流水账吗?

名胜的话,places of interest比较好,不用famous places.
的确流水账,应该具体写一写去了哪些地方,用什么有趣的,吸引你的事。
而且不用on Monday, on Tuesday哪样一天一天,说的来写就好。
以上是我的建议

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