英语作文,谢Social Networking for BusinessToday,we are just walking in a digital world,and each indoor worker has one computer to use.They can use social network to help their jobs such as developing social relationship,decreasing the pressure fr

英语作文,谢Social Networking for BusinessToday,we are just walking in a digital world,and each indoor worker has one computer to use.They can use social network to help their jobs such as developing social relationship,decreasing the pressure fr
英语作文,谢
Social Networking for Business
Today,we are just walking in a digital world,and each indoor worker has one computer to use.They can use social network to help their jobs such as developing social relationship,decreasing the pressure from working and having some indoor experience.Social networking provides people a platform to create and join networks to find and communicate with friends,family,and colleagues.It is the most important part of business.In fact,social networking would be an essential way to help the development of business.It can provide the latest business information,reduce the cost of business and provide the working experience from others.
In addition,when business companies use social networking tools,they can learn some business experience from the other companies.No one is the perfect person because everyone has their strong abilities and characteristic shortage.Same as the companies,they have to learn much successful experience from others.Berkowitz describes that “Organizations are realizing that they need to incorporate social networking in the context of specific business processes,” (10) .Using social networking tools,experienced salespeople can offer insights to junior staff members in small doses and in a casual style.
In general,sometimes we often find that people who run the business always have to deal with different accidental situations.Even though managers may have good abilities on their work,they are lack of abilities to deal with families.When they research some social networking websites,especially the experienced people’s websites,they can learn new strategies about running business.Nancy Davis describes that “an extended profile format that is the kernel of a social networking platform can allow employees to add details about competencies,project experience and past positions,and to blog and share bookmarks.This added detail can make harnessing the enterprise's internal knowledgebase easier and,with proper access controls,can be useful information for customers as well.”(1) For example,a new business person wants to run a restaurant business.He could watch some teaching strategies from the Youtube.Youtube has thousands of people’s restaurant experience.By watching these videos,new business people will know a lot of things about restaurant,such as hiring people,decorating the restaurant and managing the money cycles.Company combined with employee and employers.If people all can learn some business stratagies from other company through social networking,company’s business running will improve to a higher standard.
Social networking is a very convenient tool for the business.It can reduce the cost of business and provide the working experience from others.With the development of social networking,companies can have a good platform to expand their business.

英语作文,谢Social Networking for BusinessToday,we are just walking in a digital world,and each indoor worker has one computer to use.They can use social network to help their jobs such as developing social relationship,decreasing the pressure fr
坦率地说,你的英语文章还不错,与我刚才批的另一篇难分伯仲.只是一些小的瑕疵,我改了改,不妥之处,可坚持原稿.修改处皆用大写标出,请查收：
Social Networking for Business
Today,we are just LIVING in a digital world,and each indoor worker has one computer to use.They can use social network to help their jobs,such as developing social relationship,decreasing the pressure from working and having some indoor experience.Social networking provides people a platform to create and join networks to find and communicate with friends,family,and colleagues.It is the most important part of business.In fact,social networking would be an essential way to help the development of business.It can provide the latest business information,reduce the cost of business and provide the working experience from others.
In addition,when business companies use social networking tools,they can learn some business experience from the other companies.No one is the perfect person because everyone has their strong abilities and characteristic shortage.Same as the companies,they have to learn much successful experience from others.Berkowitz describes that “Organizations are realizing WHAT they need to incorporate social networking in the context of specific business processes,” (10) .Using social networking tools,experienced salespeople can offer insights to junior staff members in small doses and in a casual style.
In general,sometimes we often find that people who run the business always have to deal with different accidental situations.Even though managers may have good abilities on their work,they are lack of abilities to deal with families.When they research some social networking websites,especially the experienced people’s websites,they can learn new strategies about running business.Nancy Davis describes that “an extended profile format that is the kernel of a social networking platform can allow employees to add details about competencies,project experience and past positions,and to blog and share bookmarks.This added detail can make harnessing the enterprise's internal knowledgebase easier and,with proper access controls,can be THE useful information for customers as well.”(1) For example,a new business person wants to run a restaurant business.He could watch some teaching strategies from the Youtube.Youtube has thousands of people’s experience IN RESTAURANT.By watching these videos,new business people will know a lot of things about restaurant,such as hiring people,decorating the restaurant and managing the money cycles.Company combined with employee and employers.If people all can learn some business stratagies from other companies through social networking,company’s business running will BE IMPROVED to a higher standard.
Social networking is a very convenient tool for the business.It can reduce the cost of business and provide the working experience from others.With the development of social networking,companies can have a good platform to expand their business.

本文除了一些语法问题（不多），还有更严重的问题存在。我说着，你看着是不是这么回事。
1 本文跑题。文章让你谈social networking 即社会关系。那么什么是社会关系？是人与人之间的关系，是朋友，是合乎，是合作伙伴。而本文谈论“工具”“YouTube”，而不是谈论最核心的。
2 本文句子很长，段落很长，但我个人觉得应该是从网上搜集来的，而不是自己的句子，所以句子和句子有时连...

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本文除了一些语法问题（不多），还有更严重的问题存在。我说着，你看着是不是这么回事。
1 本文跑题。文章让你谈social networking 即社会关系。那么什么是社会关系？是人与人之间的关系，是朋友，是合乎，是合作伙伴。而本文谈论“工具”“YouTube”，而不是谈论最核心的。
2 本文句子很长，段落很长，但我个人觉得应该是从网上搜集来的，而不是自己的句子，所以句子和句子有时连接无厘头，这个自己去发现吧，发现不了再问我。
3 本文论述社会关系时，多数是墨迹，墨迹很重要云云，都不是最核心的。都没有具体说怎么重要了，从开头，到结尾都是Social networking is a very convenient tool for the business，但说的不到位，也没有解释。
所以，本篇文章如果是雅思的话会6分，但可能你自己的能力，实际能力是5.5分。反正有点跑题！

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Social Networking for Business
Today, we are just walking in a digital world, and each indoor worker has one computer to use. They can use social network to help them work such as developing socia...

全部展开

Social Networking for Business
Today, we are just walking in a digital world, and each indoor worker has one computer to use. They can use social network to help them work such as developing social relationship, decreasing the pressure from working and having some indoor experience.Social networks provide a platform for people to create and join networks to find and communicate with friends
, family, and colleagues. It is the most important part of business. In fact, social networking would be an essential way to help enterprise development
. It can provide the latest business information, reduce the cost of business and provide the working experience from others.
In addition, when business companies use social networking tools, they can learn some business experience from the other companies. No one is the perfect person because everyone has their strong abilities and characteristic shortage. Like as the companies, they have to learn much successful experience from others. Berkowitz describes that “Organizations are realizing that they need to incorporate social networking in the context of specific business processes,” (10) .Using social networking tools, experienced salespeople can offer insights to junior staff members in small doses and in a casual style.
Generally , sometimes we often find that people who run the business always have to deal with different unexpected situations. Even though managers may have good abilities on their work, they are lack of abilities to deal with families. When they research some social networking websites, especially the experienced people’s websites, they can learn new strategies about running business. Nancy Davis describes that “an extended profile format that is the kernel of a social networking platform can allow employees to add details about competencies, project experience and past positions, and to blog and share bookmarks. This added detail can make harnessing the enterprise's internal knowledge base easier and, with proper access controls, can be useful information for customers as well.”(1) For example, a new business person wants to run a restaurant business. He could watch some teaching strategies from the Youtube. Youtube has restaurant experience with thousands of people
. By watching these videos, new business people will know a lot of things about restaurant, such as hiring people, decorating the restaurant and managing the money cycles. Company was combined with employees and employers. If people all can learn some business stratagies from other company through social networking, company’s business running will improve to a higher standard.
Social networking is a very convenient tool for the business. It can reduce the cost of business and provide the working experience from others. With the development of social networking, companies can have a good platform to expand their business.

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你们这些帮人改作文的人啊

Social Networking for Business
Today, we are just living in a digital world, and almost every indoor worker has a computer to use. We can use social network to help our jobs, such as developing so...

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Social Networking for Business
Today, we are just living in a digital world, and almost every indoor worker has a computer to use. We can use social network to help our jobs, such as developing social relationship, gaining some indoor experience and decreasing the pressure from working. Social networking provides people a platform to create and join networks to find and communicate with friends, colleagues and family. It is an important element of business. In fact, social networking would be an essential way to help the enterprise development. It passes the latest business information, reduces the cost of business and provides the working experience from others.
In addition, when business companies use social networking tools, they can learn some business experience from the other companies. No one is the perfect person because everyone has their strong abilities and characteristic shortage. Likewise for companies, they have to learn some successful experience from others. Berkowitz described that “Organizations are realizing what they need to incorporate social networking in the context of specific business processes,” (10) .Using social networking tools, experienced salespeople can offer insights to junior staff members in small doses and in a casual style.
In general, sometimes we often find that people who run the business always have to deal with different accidental situations. Even though managers may have good abilities on their work, they are lack of ability to deal with families. When they research some social networking websites, especially the experienced people’s websites, they can learn new strategies about running business. Nancy Davis described that “an extended profile format that is the kernel of a social networking platform can allow employees to add details about competencies, project experience and past positions, and to blog and share bookmarks. This added detail can make harnessing the enterprise's internal knowledgebase easier and, with proper access controls, can be the useful information for customers as well.”(1) For example, a new business person wants to run a restaurant business. He could watch some planning strategies from the Youtube. Youtube has thousands of people’s experience in restaurant. By watching these videos, new business people will know a lot about restaurant, such as hiring right people, decorating the restaurant and managing the money cycles. Company combined with employees and employer. If all people can learn some business stratagies from other companies through social networking, company’s business running will be improved to a higher level.
Social networking is a very convenient tool for the business. It reduces the cost of business and provides the working experience from others. With the development of social networking, companies will have a good platform to expand their business.

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Social Networking for Business
Today, we are just walking in a digital world 【We are heading into a digital world now】and each indoor worker has one computer to use.【and everyone is plugged into t...

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Social Networking for Business
Today, we are just walking in a digital world 【We are heading into a digital world now】and each indoor worker has one computer to use.【and everyone is plugged into this digital social network.】 They can use social network to 【help their jobs such as删除】 developing 【develop】 social relationship, decreasing 【and relieve】the pressure from working 【and having some indoor experience.删除】 Social networking provides people a platform to create and join networks to find and communicate with friends, family, and colleagues. It 【which】is the most important part of business. In fact, social networking would be an essential way to help the development of 【become essential to develop new】 business. It can provide the latest business information, reduce the cost of business【public relations】 and provide【learn】 the working experience from others.
In addition, when 【business删】 companies use social networking tools, they can learn 【some business experience删】 from the other companies. No one is 【the删】 perfect 【person删】 because【and】 everyone has their strong abilities and characteristic shortage【his own strength and weakness】. Same as the companies, they【Similarly, the companies】 have to learn 【much删】 successful experience from others. Berkowitz describes that “Organizations are realizing that they need to incorporate social networking in the context of specific business processes,” (10) .Using social networking tools, experienced salespeople can offer insights to junior staff members in small doses and in a casual style【slowly and casually】.
In general, sometimes we often find that people who run the business always have to deal with different accidental situations【emergencies】. Even though managers may have good abilities【take good control】 on their work, they are lack of abilities to【don't have enough time to】 deal with families. When they research some social networking websites, especially the experienced people’s websites, they can learn new strategies about running business. Nancy Davis describes that “an extended profile format that is the kernel of a social networking platform can allow employees to add details about competencies, project experience and past positions, and to blog and share bookmarks. This added detail can make harnessing the enterprise's internal knowledgebase easier and, with proper access controls, can be useful information for customers as well.”(1) For example, a new business person wants to run a restaurant business. He could watch some teaching strategies from the Youtube. Youtube has thousands of people’s restaurant experience. By watching these videos, new business people will know a lot of things about restaurant, such as hiring people, decorating the restaurant and managing the money cycles. Company combined with employee and employers. If people all can learn some business stratagies from other company through social networking, company’s business running will improve to a higher standard.
Social networking is a very convenient tool for the business. It can reduce the cost of business and provide the working experience from others. With the development of social networking, companies can have a good platform to expand their business
所以，改完就变成了
Social Networking for Business
We are heading into a digital world now and everyone is plugged into this digital social network. They can use social network to develop social relationship and relieve the pressure from working. Social networking provides people a platform to create and join networks to find and communicate with friends, family, and colleagues, which is the most important part of business. In fact, social networking would become essential to develop new business. It can provide the latest business information, reduce the cost of public relations and learn the working experience from others.
In addition, when companies use social networking tools, they can learn from the others. No one is perfect and everyone has his own strength and weakness. Similarly, the companies have to learn successful stories from others. Berkowitz describes that “Organizations are realizing that they need to incorporate social networking in the context of specific business processes,” (10) .Using social networking tools, experienced salespeople can offer insights to junior staff members slowly and casually.
In general, sometimes we often find that people who run the business always have to deal with different accidental situations【emergencies】. Even though managers may have good abilities【take good control】 on their work, they are lack of abilities to【don't have enough time to】 deal with families. When they research some social networking websites, especially the experienced people’s websites, they can learn new strategies about running business. Nancy Davis describes that “an extended profile format that is the kernel of a social networking platform can allow employees to add details about competencies, project experience and past positions, and to blog and share bookmarks. This added detail can make harnessing the enterprise's internal knowledgebase easier and, with proper access controls, can be useful information for customers as well.”(1) For example, a new business person wants to run a restaurant business. He could watch some teaching strategies from the Youtube. Youtube has thousands of people’s restaurant experience. By watching these videos, new business people will know a lot of things about restaurant, such as hiring people, decorating the restaurant and managing the money cycles. Company combined with employee and employers. If people all can learn some business stratagies from other company through social networking, company’s business running will improve to a higher standard.
Social networking is a very convenient tool for the business. It can reduce the cost of business and provide the working experience from others. With the development of social networking, companies can have a good platform to expand their business

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