求英语大神帮我改改托福作文~Nowadays,along with the augment of socialcompetition,an increasing number of parents choose to send their children tothe extra course for improving children' ability,such as music,art,math,science,history and l

求英语大神帮我改改托福作文~Nowadays,along with the augment of socialcompetition,an increasing number of parents choose to send their children tothe extra course for improving children' ability,such as music,art,math,science,history and l
求英语大神帮我改改托福作文~
Nowadays,along with the augment of socialcompetition,an increasing number of parents choose to send their children tothe extra course for improving children' ability,such as music,art,math,science,history and language.Indeed,the extra course would help childrenimprove their capacity,but,taking the disadvantages that the extra coursebrings about to the kids into account,I believe that its merits outweigh itsdisadvantages.
The extra course would deprive a preciouschildhood from children.As we all know,hardly a kid likes to go to thiscourse when s/he off class,especially when s/he found that otherchildren is playing.In this process,s/he may lose many chances tocommunicate with her/his peers.As a result,what the parents leave forchildren's memory is study and pain.It is a perfect and colorful childhoodthat will exert a profound and favorable influence on kids' future developmentto establish optimistic personality.Without those memories,children will becomemore and more pessimistic and lack of interpersonal skill.
Moreover,extra courses may be not workedas parents wanted.When a guy is compelled to do something,the result of thatnormally is inferior.As the old saying goes that interest is the best teacher.When children encounter the problem that their parents command them to go tostudy the things that they don't like,children would express some kind ofattitude towards the courses that drop it.Consequently,even if they could togo those classes physically,their mind may hand out with their friends.
In addition,many parents send theirchildren to the extra course mainly because they found other parents do it.Parents are afraid of their children that will lose competitiveness when otherkids get the chance for improvement and their children are playing computergames at home.This sense of insecurity is so common in the work place,justlike your boss always talk to one of your co-worker and at this moment; youwould engender this kind of feeling that you would lose something.In fact,theboss may just arrange some extra tasks to your co-worker and he is suffering.So parents should delete this wrong feeling from their mind.
All in all,we cannot deny the fact thatmany children get the achievement through taking extra courses.However,wealso cannot contradict the fact that those children lose so many things intheir way to success,at least a happy childhood,which is invaluable treasurefor everyone.So I firmly believe that children need a free holiday rather thana busy weekend.

求英语大神帮我改改托福作文~Nowadays,along with the augment of socialcompetition,an increasing number of parents choose to send their children tothe extra course for improving children' ability,such as music,art,math,science,history and l
第一段：If I were the cup, I would be the cup which were full.in care I want to come true the dream which is belong myself.Although it's diffcult to true for me,but I'm unwilling to be a cup of half or less than it.第二段：Right now, I am going through the most difficult period of my life. I have to pass the examination for I want to go to Beijing University that is the best one in Chine. I know it is a hard job for me, but I am a "cup of full" and brave enough to overcome every difficulty and grasp every opportunity which I face.第三段：I believe that I will be a man of sucessful, because I decide to challenge life of myself.房主从这些简单句型练习吧,我随手写的,做参考,楼主的文章看得我头疼,拜托你想表达什么?中心在哪里先写出来,用复杂到别人都厌恶,还犯错那就逆天了

从第一句话中就可以看出国内学英语的永远不知道 to 和 for 在表示“为。。“的意思该用哪个。
托福考生写作文最大的特点就是很想多用一些较为高级的词汇，可惜实际上根本不知道如何运用，结果就是，自己读起来整个文章就非常别扭。
英语作文的最高境界不是高级词汇的多少和句型的如何复制，而是用最简单的词汇写出让人感觉高级深刻的文章，而这个程度在国内永远也达不到。
就算是国外读了博士...

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从第一句话中就可以看出国内学英语的永远不知道 to 和 for 在表示“为。。“的意思该用哪个。
托福考生写作文最大的特点就是很想多用一些较为高级的词汇，可惜实际上根本不知道如何运用，结果就是，自己读起来整个文章就非常别扭。
英语作文的最高境界不是高级词汇的多少和句型的如何复制，而是用最简单的词汇写出让人感觉高级深刻的文章，而这个程度在国内永远也达不到。
就算是国外读了博士的中国人，英语文章写出来的文笔也比不上老外8岁小孩写的文章。
楼主这个文章，哎， 真个文章能够用简单的句式表达的全部被刻意复杂化，非常不通顺。我在国外为投资公司和客户写分析报告，多少年了也偶尔会犯这个毛病。不过楼主这个文章，起步水平吧，不知道托福能不能过得去。

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