2011考研作文修改关于人口老龄化 The implied meaning of the drawing can be interpreted in terms of population aging.In the modern society,with families becoming smaller and living pace escalating,it is important and essential for families

2011考研作文修改关于人口老龄化 The implied meaning of the drawing can be interpreted in terms of population aging.In the modern society,with families becoming smaller and living pace escalating,it is important and essential for families
2011考研作文修改
关于人口老龄化
The implied meaning of the drawing can be interpreted in terms of population aging.In the modern society,with families becoming smaller and living pace escalating,it is important and essential for families to care for aged members adequately.As a matter of fact,aging causes a relative decline in working force in that fewer people have to support the increasing aged people.Consequently,the productivity of the whole society is affected to some extent.Last but not least,the population aging in China resulted from the successful implementation of the family planning programme has not been synchronized with national economic progress.
To cope with the population aging,China should dedicate itself to comprehensive addressing population issue and establishing a population-balance society.Furthermore,importance should be attached to overall social progress by converting the backward situation in social security,welfare and service.Only in this way can we curb the current phenomenon revealed in the picture.

2011考研作文修改关于人口老龄化 The implied meaning of the drawing can be interpreted in terms of population aging.In the modern society,with families becoming smaller and living pace escalating,it is important and essential for families
The implied meaning of the drawing can be interpreted in terms of population aging.In the modern society,with families becoming smaller and living pace escalating,it is important and essential for families to care for 【their只是觉得加个词更顺些】aged members adequately.As a matter of fact,aging causes a relative decline in working force in that fewer people have to support the increasing aged people.Consequently,the productivity of the whole society is affected to some extent.Last but not least,the population aging in China resulted from the successful implementation of the family planning programme has not been synchronized with national economic progress.
To cope with the population aging,China should dedicate itself to comprehensive addressing population issue and establishing a population-balance society.Furthermore,importance should be attached to overall social progress by converting the backward situation in social security,welfare and service.Only in this way can we curb the current phenomenon revealed in the picture.
PS:语法方面没有多大错误.另外,本文的第二句,建议把with短语放到主句后面,我明白你是要表达状语前置的句式结构,但是读上去有些中文思维明显.
当然,我不清楚考研作文的评分标准,不好瞎指导.只是坦诚的跟你交流,为此我在读完你的作文后思考了一下,以下只是思想交流,不带任何评判.看你写的,我突然产生一种熟悉感,因为我以前也是这么“用心”的写的,可以看出来你在特意选一些比较有深度的词和句式用进去,但坦率的讲,以我读来的感觉来看,并不流畅.个别语句由于追求句式复杂而不够简洁.有些难词,感觉用的突兀,不是英文常用的搭配习惯.当然,这些标准都太苛求了,对于考研也没必要.只是,除此之外,没什么要改的了.本人也在学习中,才到达一些语感辨识,就是能察觉出恰当不恰当,要说能把一篇文章改的纯英文思维,还没到那火候,请见谅!由于我不知考研作为规则,所以只在语法句式个别用词层面上给些帮助.