雅思小作文 求修改 打分 剑桥7 TEST2 哪怕小小点评下也可以哦 小小点评下The graph illustrates changes in the amounts of some types of meat consumed in a European from 1979 to 2004.First of all,in 1979,beef consumption was near

雅思小作文 求修改 打分 剑桥7 TEST2 哪怕小小点评下也可以哦 小小点评下The graph illustrates changes in the amounts of some types of meat consumed in a European from 1979 to 2004.First of all,in 1979,beef consumption was near
雅思小作文 求修改 打分 剑桥7 TEST2 哪怕小小点评下也可以哦 小小点评下
The graph illustrates changes in the amounts of some types of meat consumed in a European from 1979 to 2004.
First of all,in 1979,beef consumption was nearly 220 grams per person per week and it was the highest one in those consisting of beef,chicken,lamb,and fish.As you can see,chicken and lamb consumptions were both approximately 150 grams.In addition,fish consumption was the least with 55 grams.
However,beef and lamb consumptions declined dramatically while fish consumption fell slightly during 25 years.In contrast,chicken consumption showed an upward trend.In 2004,chicken consumption climbed to 250 grams.After a long downward trend,beef and lamb consumptions ended up with 110 grams and 60 grams respectively.Samely,fish consumption was still the least with 45 grams.
In a nutshell,Chicken,beef,and lamb consumptions fluctuated more or less.Yet fish
consumption was stable,though it was always the least.
In 2004 那里回车一下 开始另一段 不小心删了回车

雅思小作文 求修改 打分 剑桥7 TEST2 哪怕小小点评下也可以哦 小小点评下The graph illustrates changes in the amounts of some types of meat consumed in a European from 1979 to 2004.First of all,in 1979,beef consumption was near
写的真的很不错啊~我也从中学到了一些东西.
就是你第一段European后面丢了个nation,这个比较明显；
还有建议你第三段第二行during后面稍改一下,体现出是“这25年”；
最后一段那个Chicken可能是你打的时候忘小写了,纯属笔误吧~

...你帮我参加考试吧，能得高分...
第一段转述我觉得可以详细点。比如说哈：The line chart illustrates the difference in the cosumption of differene meat, namely, fish, lamp, beef and chicken in a particular country in Europe during ...

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...你帮我参加考试吧，能得高分...
第一段转述我觉得可以详细点。比如说哈：The line chart illustrates the difference in the cosumption of differene meat, namely, fish, lamp, beef and chicken in a particular country in Europe during the period of 25 years between 1979 and 2004.
第三段那里可以用一个拟人的写法，加分哦~chicken consumption enjoyed an upward trend.

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