求五篇英语小幽默

求五篇英语小幽默
求五篇英语小幽默

求五篇英语小幽默
Difference
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles."When I say,'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond,'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."
区 别
“研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来,”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说.“我说‘下午好’,本科生们回答说‘下午好’.研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上.”
Flunking Math
My son,who made the dean's list in his freshman year at Ball State University in Muncie,Ind.,called home a few weeks after starting his sophomore year as a psychology student.
"Mom," he said excitely,"I have found the answer to surviving college!It isn't the grades that are so important,but the quality of what is learned and how it is applied to daily life.I'm lucky to be having these wonderful experiences!"
"And just what does this mean?" I asked.
"I'm flunking math," he replied.
数学没及格
我儿子是印第安那市曼西尔波州立大学的学生,大学一年级就上了系主任的名单.第二年他学心理学,刚几个星期他就给家里打了个电话.
“妈妈,”他激动地说：“我找到了如何在大学里生存下去的答案!重要的不是分数,而是具备将学到的知识应用于日常生活的素质.我很幸运地有了这种奇妙的经历.”
”我问道.
“我数学没及格.”他回答说.
Part-time Job
When my son was a hign-school sophomore,he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket.He came home all smiles.
"How was your first day?" I asked.
"It was great,Dad," he replied."I got to talk to some good-looking girls."
Since Stephen is not very talkative,I asked,"What did you say to them?"
"Do you prefer paper or plastic?"
业余工作
我儿子在一所中学读二年级时,在一家超级市场找到了一份包装商品的业余工作.他满面笑容地回到了家.
“第一天感觉如何?”我问.
“好极了,爸爸.”他答道,“我跟许多漂亮的女孩子讲了话.”
由于斯蒂芬不善言谈,我问道：“你跟他们说了些什么?”
“你是喜欢纸包装还是塑料包装?”
Keys?Kiss?
A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States.After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table,he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler,the book,the pen and so on.The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said,"Give me the kays." The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss.Seeing this,my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly,so he repeated."Give me the kays." The Italian shrugged his shoulders.Then,he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks.
钥匙还是接吻
我的一位朋友在给一个成人学生班级上英语课.他们都是新近来美国生活的.在一张桌子上摆了许多日常用品之后,他请全班同学给他挑出尺子,书本,钢笔等.课进行得井然有序,学生们对自己所做的似乎很感兴趣,也很认真.后来轮到一名来自意大利的学生,我的朋友说：“给我钥匙.”那人看起来非常吃惊,也有点手足无措.看到这种情况,我的朋友想是他没有听清楚,于是又重复了一遍：“给我钥匙.”那位意大利学生耸了耸肩.接着,他伸出胳膊搂住老师的脖子在双颊上亲了两下.
Prepare Yourself
A story around campus has it taht a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading:"Mom - flunked all courses.Kicked out of school.Prepare Pop."
Two days later he received a response:"Pop prepared.Prepare yourself."
自己做好准备
校园里流传着这样的故事：一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报,上面写着：“妈妈－我所有功课都不及格,被学校开除.让爸爸做好准备.”
两天以后,他收到了回电：“爸爸已准备好.你自己做好准备吧!”
（更多看 参考资料）