帮我改一下这个雅思小作文是剑5 test1的小作文The graph illustrated changes in the proportion of the population aged 65 and over form 1940 to 2040 in Japan Sweden and USA (这三个城市前介词in用的对么?有更好的表达么?

来源:学生作业帮助网 编辑:六六作业网 时间:2024/12/28 18:13:41
帮我改一下这个雅思小作文是剑5test1的小作文Thegraphillustratedchangesintheproportionofthepopulationaged65andoverform194

帮我改一下这个雅思小作文是剑5 test1的小作文The graph illustrated changes in the proportion of the population aged 65 and over form 1940 to 2040 in Japan Sweden and USA (这三个城市前介词in用的对么?有更好的表达么?
帮我改一下这个雅思小作文是剑5 test1的小作文
The graph illustrated changes in the proportion of the population aged 65 and over form 1940 to 2040 in Japan Sweden and USA (这三个城市前介词in用的对么?有更好的表达么?)

In 1940,JAPAN was the least in amount of population aged over 65,which was 5%. While the American population was the most proportion,which was double of Japanese about 9%,furthermore,Swiss population was 7% in between.

During 100-year period,proportion of Swiss and American had a upward trend,which increased to 25% and 27% respectively.but there was a slight falling (是用falling还是decline)of Swiss population in 2010 and 2030.

However,the proportion of Japanese population witnessed a downward trend form 1940 to 1990,which reached the least point about 3%, after that, we can see a highly upward trend form 1990 that increased to 27% in 2040,furthermore, it was overtaking Swiss and American in 2030.

Overall,the graph shows the proportion of three country’s population aged over 65 increased dramatically in 100 years.

帮我改一下这个雅思小作文是剑5 test1的小作文The graph illustrated changes in the proportion of the population aged 65 and over form 1940 to 2040 in Japan Sweden and USA (这三个城市前介词in用的对么?有更好的表达么?
The graph illustrates changes in the proportion of the population aged 65 and over form 1940 to 2040 in Japan,Sweden,and USA.(介词in用的没错,但要加上逗号.)
In 1940,JAPAN was the least in amount of population aged over 65,which was 5%.While the American population was the most proportion,which was double of Japanese about 9%,furthermore,Swiss population was 7% in between.
---In 1940,Japan was the one which has the least amount of population aged 65 and over(5%),while America consists of the largest proportion,which amounts to 9%,doubling that of Japan.
During 100-year period,proportion of Swiss and American had a upward trend,which increased to 25% and 27% respectively.but there was a slight decline in the number of Swiss population from 2010 to 2030.
However,the proportion of Japanese population witnessed a downward trend from 1940 to 1990,which reached the bottom (about 3%),after which,we can see a highly upward trend that the population increased to 27% in 2040.Furthermore,it even overtook Swiss and America in 2030.
Overall,the graph shows the proportion of three country’s population aged 65 and over has increased dramatically in 100 years.

小错误太多。逻辑混乱。

帮我改一下这个雅思小作文是剑5 test1的小作文The graph illustrated changes in the proportion of the population aged 65 and over form 1940 to 2040 in Japan Sweden and USA (这三个城市前介词in用的对么?有更好的表达么? 麻烦谁能帮我看一下这篇雅思小作文?这是我自己在家里写的一篇雅思小作文——剑5 TEST 2,WRITING TASK 1.第一次写这篇时完全逻辑不清,后来稍微看了范文才恍然过来,就修改了一下.The bar charts bey 老师能帮我改篇雅思作文吗 求改雅思小作文,望各位大神评价建议+打分 顺便能分享一个互改雅思作文的平台,Cam6,test 4,writing 1 剑6 test 4The charts offers the information about populations of the people who is married or divorced in America for 197 请帮我改一下这篇英语作文 帮我改一下这篇作文谢谢 写了一篇英语作文可不可以帮我改一下 帮我改一下高中英语作文本人基础教差 帮我找一下这个作文 帮我差一下这个作文 并且帮我改一下 我一些是错的帮我改一下 求帮忙估分雅思小作文剑九 TEST 3 task1这是我写的小作文,请考过的同学估分!The following pie chart shows the proportion of people between 0 to 14 years,15 to 59 years and more than 60 years in Yemen and Italy in 2000 and gives 雅思小作文开头感觉仅仅是把提示改一下太老套咯如何进行适当的创新? 雅思写作小作文我原来知道就是叙述性的作文,可是最近看到很多人怕这个小作文,我有点慌了,流程图 地图 柱状图什么的 麻烦帮我仔细说说 求雅思达人写一篇6~6.TASK1 表格小作文给我看一下.题目就是这个 很希望看下条理性 不需要太多的高端词汇. 剑桥雅思5 test 1 谁帮我这个改下繁体字啊 或者改的好看点 不是一下就能看出来是什么意思的帮我这个改下 就是喜欢你丶