继续求帮忙改雅思小作文..题目是剑9,TEST1如图.马上就要考了啊.The maps visually reveal the changes of an island,before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.On the top of this,this island surrounded by sea is appr

继续求帮忙改雅思小作文..题目是剑9,TEST1如图.马上就要考了啊.The maps visually reveal the changes of an island,before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.On the top of this,this island surrounded by sea is appr
继续求帮忙改雅思小作文..
题目是剑9,TEST1如图.马上就要考了啊.

The maps visually reveal the changes of an island,before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.
On the top of this,this island surrounded by sea is approximately 250 meters wide.And before the constructions brought in,the island had been entirely vacant except some trees existed dispersedly.However,after numerous buildings established,an upheaval appears.
There are two accommodation zone in the east and west part of island currently,an noticeable point to note is in the east residential zone,a footpath heads to the beach and swimming area is done therefore it must be more convenient for tourists who desired to go to the beach and swim. Besides,in the center of the island a restaurant and reception can be easily found.Furthermore,in the north of the island,a fascinating pier is built which considerably creates opportunities for come-and-go.
In addition,some vehicle tracks also have been established  in order to connect the pier and the center area where the restaurant and reception located.

继续求帮忙改雅思小作文..题目是剑9,TEST1如图.马上就要考了啊.The maps visually reveal the changes of an island,before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.On the top of this,this island surrounded by sea is appr
个人觉得这篇小作文大概在5.5-6.原因简单说一下.第一,方位全部搞错,这张图上没有画指北针,一般来说是遵循上北下南左西右东（不过你在文章中提一下你的北是朝下的应该也是OK的）,这是最安全的选择；第二,从你的文章里看,基本上可以画出原图,这是可以在5分以上的关键,语法也还OK；第三,说了main feature,但不够,没有comparison,这是拿不到6分的关键（审原题）.简单说下main feature和comparison,例如树没有被砍掉,protection,下图左边多了条线,应该是保护警戒线吧,右边有棵树被移植了,应该也算保护吧,码头不光是交通进出,应该也是有水上运动的,那个是帆船.
需要进一步的建议和修改,可以去我的淘宝小店“易道留学咨询”逛逛,觉得以上有帮助就来看看吧~