求雅思作文修改 急剑6test 4 大作文 按专英格式写的 主要请教是否有语法问题 麻烦评个分 谢谢 Q ：some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Other think change is always a good

求雅思作文修改 急剑6test 4 大作文 按专英格式写的 主要请教是否有语法问题 麻烦评个分 谢谢 Q ：some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Other think change is always a good
求雅思作文修改 急
剑6test 4 大作文 按专英格式写的 主要请教是否有语法问题 麻烦评个分 谢谢
Q ：some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Other think change is always a good thing. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
In recent decades, the trend of doing the same thing and avoiding change has increased significantly especially in China, the United State of American and Australia. The term change refers to the preferred style of working and jobs by people from all over the world. In discussing it argue whether or not this increase should be seen as a positive phenomenon. The reasons for this argument include the influence of globe financial crisis, the difference in cultural expectation in changing the occupation.
With regard to the role of job in contemporary society, people living experience may be very different from their home countries. Concerning of the significant of sable job, many people, particularly those from certain Asian countries, prefer to spend their live doing the same thing. This is due to the fact that stable income and circumstances require stable job rather than part-time job and therefore those who are given up their job and do not re-education may less likely to find a new employment. For instance, the globe financial crisis cause people more treasure their job. Consequently, it can be seen that majority of people avoid to change their job-at any rate for short periods.
However, in face of opportunity, a number of people have maintained that there are ways of adapting to change in order to ensure better survival. It is no doubt that if someone has opportunity to improve his reality, he should do it without hesitation. Nevertheless, much is absolutely certain—not all people have chance to change their job that is related to they don’t too consider their live in short period.
As for all factor mentioned above, there are several factors which strongly support the fact that people prefer to do the same thing including personal expectation, personal skills and influence of external situation. Consequently, I am in favor the notion that people should have the stable job.

求雅思作文修改 急剑6test 4 大作文 按专英格式写的 主要请教是否有语法问题 麻烦评个分 谢谢 Q ：some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Other think change is always a good
In recent decades,the trend of (doing the same thing and avoiding change)[像开头这种描述,就算用套句,也绝对不能抄原文,可以改成：staying with the same job] has increased significantly especially in China,the United State of American and Australia.The term change refers to the preferred style of working and jobs by people from all over the world.In discussing (people) argue whether or not this increase should be seen as a positive phenomenon.The reasons for this argument include the influence of globe financial crisis,the difference in cultural expectation in changing the occupation.
第一段,看起来很好,但是套句也写的太明显了.
With regard to the role of job(s) in contemporary society,people ('s) living experience may (be very different)[varies] from their (home去掉) countries.Concerning of the significant of sable job,many people,particularly those from certain Asian countries,prefer to spend their live doing the same thing.This is due to the fact that stable income and circumstances (require)[are based on,不改也可以,个人建议,比较正式点.] stable job rather than part-time job (and去掉) therefore those who (are)have given up their job and (do not)[without] re-education (may)[are] less likely to find a new employment.(For instance,the globe financial crisis cause people more treasure their job.Consequently,it can be seen that majority of people avoid to change their job-at any rate for short periods.)例子你自己再看看,和前面的理论不搭调,最好换个.另外,第二段太罗嗦,很多可以简化,包括从句7句话就够了.到真正考试的时候,没有这么多时间给你写这么啰嗦的东西.
However,in face of opportunity,a number of people have maintained that there are ways of adapting to change in order to ensure better survival.(It is no doubt that if someone has opportunity to improve his reality【ability吧.】,he should do it without hesitation.)依据理论不够.建议重写.（不信我给你翻译下：不容质疑的是,只要有机会,一个人绝对不会犹豫去提升他的能力.可是你前面都说了这么多人喜欢稳定的工资,很矛盾!所以建议写成：很多成功的例子证明：很多人都会抓住提升他们能力的机会,并且这样更利于长远发展.） 【Nevertheless,much is absolutely certain — not all people have chance to change their job (that is related to)[because] they don’t too consider their live(s) in short period
勉勉强强,第三段,逻辑顺序不够,依据不够
As for all factor（s） mentioned above,(there are several)the major factors (which)去掉 strongly support the fact that people prefer to do the same thing including personal expectation,personal skills and influence of external situation.Consequently,I am in favor (of) the notion that people should have the stable job.
总体结构也不好,一般外国人都喜欢欲扬先抑,所以你主观反对的观点摆第二段,支持的摆第三段,然后最后一段明确表示你支持第三段的内容,这样外国人就不会搞混你的立场.
评分：5.5-6,用词很多很大,可惜句子都太啰嗦.