帮忙看下这篇雅思作文多少分请直接说我现在的水平是多少分,因为后天就考试了,不要说改了后能得多少分,并且指出主要的错误,题目“Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type

帮忙看下这篇雅思作文多少分请直接说我现在的水平是多少分,因为后天就考试了,不要说改了后能得多少分,并且指出主要的错误,题目“Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type
帮忙看下这篇雅思作文多少分
请直接说我现在的水平是多少分,因为后天就考试了,不要说改了后能得多少分,并且指出主要的错误,
题目“Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.Others,however,argue that the circumstances of an individual crime,and the motivation for committing it ,should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.”
My composition:
It is acknowledged that people who commit a crime should be punished.However,a over-heated discussion about what should people consider when deciding the punishment of a crime has attracted close attention of all walks of life.Quite a number of people advocate that there should be fixed punishments for each kind of crime.Some different voices,however,arise to reveal the severe consequences we are confronted with accordingly,if we do not consider the circumstances of one crime.It is necessary to give a further view at the both opinions.
Initially,fixed punishments have a fairly long history in numerous countries,their adventages are apparent.For instance,they give a warning to all the citizens that if they committed a crime,they would be punished.Moveover,they are more convenient,for the judgements do not need to take any special circumstances into account,although it is unfair in some specific situations.
On the contrary,opponents suggest that circumstances of every crime as well as the motivation for committing it should always be considered.They also have made some well-reasoned arguements.For example,if a person did something against the law merely in order to protect himself or other people,they should not be punished as the way we punished the person who crime for his personal interests.Besides,only in this method,from their perspective,can we guarantee the development of a well-organized modern society.
I am compeletily with the later opinion,I think in that way we will live a wonderful life.Above all,I realize the reasons of an individual crime might be extremely complex,therefore,in no means should we use the fixed punishments.Further more,we will hardly clear about what should be defined as a certain type of crime,such as murder?That category is too general.
In summary,how should an individual crime be punished is a question that can only answered on a case-by-case basis,people involved should carefully weigh up the pros and cons of new developments before reaching a conclusion.

帮忙看下这篇雅思作文多少分请直接说我现在的水平是多少分,因为后天就考试了,不要说改了后能得多少分,并且指出主要的错误,题目“Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type
6分