这篇雅思作文得几分离7 还有多大差距?不足之处请指点 Question:Fast food is now universally available in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular.Some feel that this is a positive trend,while others do not.What are your

这篇雅思作文得几分离7 还有多大差距?不足之处请指点 Question:Fast food is now universally available in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular.Some feel that this is a positive trend,while others do not.What are your
这篇雅思作文得几分
离7 还有多大差距?不足之处请指点
Question:
Fast food is now universally available in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular.Some feel that this is a positive trend,while others do not.What are your opinion on this?
The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in the availability of fast food.Yet,there remains some disagreement as to whether the overall of fast food has been positive or negative .I personally believe that the drawbacks of fast food far outweigh its benefits.
It is true that fast food revolutionised the way we take a meal.Most of us have benefited greatly from its convenience,especially to those white collars with a high salary who are always very busy and unwilling to cook themselves.They can choose a combo in fast food chains like KFC or McDonalds and finish a meal within just several minutes,instead of taking lots of time in cooking and washing dishes unwillingly.
Nevertheless,It is also a indisputable fact that fast food results in serious health problems.Foods such as fried chicken,hamburgers and chips - which are incredibly high in fat and salt - are responsible for such ailments as high blood pressure,obesity and heart disease.In addition,although I certainly agree that fast food is both convenient and affordable,the cost and inconvenient of treating the illness it caused in later life are significant.In other words,while fast food is beneficial in the short-term,its long term effects are generally negative.
By way of conclusion,I once again reaffirm my position that fast food has had a negative impact on our daily life because of its great harm to our health,even though it provided an incrediable convenient way for us to take meal.
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这篇雅思作文得几分离7 还有多大差距?不足之处请指点 Question:Fast food is now universally available in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular.Some feel that this is a positive trend,while others do not.What are your
1.'whether the overall of fast food has been positive or negative'感觉这句话的意思不太清楚.如果这里overall是名词的话,那它的意思就是长罩衣,工作裤,如果要表达总体来说的意思,overall只有做形容词和副词有这个意思.可以改为
Yet,its pros and cons has become a matter of debate.
2.instead of taking lots of time in cooking and washing dishes unwillingly.taking应该为spending.
3.第二段
Admittedly,fast food revolutionised the way we take a meal and most of us have benefited greatly from its convenience.For example,the white collars with a high salary ,always being exceedingly busy and unwilling to cook themselves,can choose a combo in fast food chains like KFC or McDonalds and finish their meals within just several minutes,instead of taking lots of time in cooking and washing dishes unwillingly.However,the convenence achieved from fast food is at a cost of the joy we should have had when having a meal with families,friends and lovers.
4.第三段Nevertheless改为moreover,what's more,in addition,furthermore,besides等
4.it provided an incrediable convenient way for us to take meal.
incredible前面用过了,这里可以用great,substantial,considerable,plenty of等