写了一段英文,请各位帮忙看看有没有错看看有没有语法错的,用错单词的,句子冗长什么的.有的话请帮忙修改一下,Bobby applied a loan on 1Jan but was rejected because of his address.Bobby was unsatisfied with that

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写了一段英文,请各位帮忙看看有没有错看看有没有语法错的,用错单词的,句子冗长什么的.有的话请帮忙修改一下,Bobbyappliedaloanon1Janbutwasrejectedbecauseofh

写了一段英文,请各位帮忙看看有没有错看看有没有语法错的,用错单词的,句子冗长什么的.有的话请帮忙修改一下,Bobby applied a loan on 1Jan but was rejected because of his address.Bobby was unsatisfied with that
写了一段英文,请各位帮忙看看有没有错
看看有没有语法错的,用错单词的,句子冗长什么的.有的话请帮忙修改一下,
Bobby applied a loan on 1Jan but was rejected because of his address.
Bobby was unsatisfied with that he couldn't get notice till he got the reject letter on 7Feb.
Bobby believes that because nobody told him reject reason before 7Feb,which caused him could not change address in time and re-apply.
So Bobby requests add back 100 dollars for compensation now.

写了一段英文,请各位帮忙看看有没有错看看有没有语法错的,用错单词的,句子冗长什么的.有的话请帮忙修改一下,Bobby applied a loan on 1Jan but was rejected because of his address.Bobby was unsatisfied with that
下面是我对您的短文的修改,供参考:
 
Bobby applied for a loan on Jan 1st,but it was rejected because of his
wrong address.Bobby was unsatisfied because he did not get any notice until
he got the letter of rejection on Feb 7th.
Bobby believes that because nobody had informed him of the reason for
the rejection before Feb 7th,which caused him to lose the chance for
changing the address in time and make another application,so he requested for
a compensation of 100 dollars.

Bobby applied for a loan on Jan 1st , but it was rejected because of his address issues.
后面的你写的意思我都不太懂。。
你中文发一遍,我帮你改吧。