求 雅思作文6分 大概是什么样子啊?

求 雅思作文6分 大概是什么样子啊?
求 雅思作文6分 大概是什么样子啊?

求 雅思作文6分 大概是什么样子啊?
Even though Globalization affects the world?s economics in a very positive way,its negative sides should not be forgotten,discuss.
Everything has tow sides in the world,and so has the prosses of globalization too.The effects of globalization for the world economy are diverted.
We must acknowledge that the negative effects are from a different kind than the positive ones.Therfor the negative sides,like low paiment in less developed countries are important to conciderate.
If we take the Euro zone for example,the economic-changes according to the gloablisation process are huge.Many companies have transfered their factories into cheaper production earies to compeat at the world markes.The results are rising unemployment rates in the “old industrial countries”
In regard to the other countries on the world market,like China,this job transfer is a big oportunity.But no one can denie that the consequences for the less developed countries with flurished economy,based on availability of cheap employees are highly important:globalization based on this facts brings enviromantal problems.
Nevertheless there are also posive reasons for globlaistaional effects.In general it is remarkable that there is a new tendency in “Thinking Global”.For instance people are willing to leran more languages and about othe cultures.Countries fromaly knowen as undeveloped,like India,getting chances to be the main leader in a certain field.
All in all it can be said that the effects of globalization are huge.The unerstanding of economic processes have changed completely.It is important to think in bigger terms,not just about the owen country.The positive things that this globalization process have brought must sensible us for the negative sides.The all over aim should be a world in balance,but this will be a long way.
This essay needs work.There are multiple spelling errors and unclear expressions (see comments underlined in blue).Also there are many words that are formed incorrectly (diverted instead of diverse,etc).There are too many paragraphs,all you need is 4 – 5 well-structured paragraphs,not 7 poorly structured ones.On the bright side,the task is covered and there are enough words (275),which is good.The paragraphs are logically connected and there is good usage of linking words.Overall,looks like a Band 6 essay.